Articles across the internet are reporting on his release, and the best things they can say about him are that he scored winning runs in two World Series games (neither were walk-offs, just the go-ahead) and had an unassisted triple play.

Between those instances, there was not a lot happening for Eric Bruntlett.

"Kyaah!" Eric Bruntlett screamed, diving on the ball like a cat hunting its prey. It was one of two errors that inning.

No, what he did do was show up as some afterbirth of the Brad Lidge deal hitting .250, and somehow managed to have two really bad seasons that brought his BA down even further.

The man hit .171 this year.  And don’t act like he’s a defensive guy, either, because I’m almost positive he was responsible for one, and maybe two errors, in the inning right before his infamous triple play.

And what does he think, he’s too good for minor league ball?

When Ruben Amaro announced the Phillies would be on the hunt for “third base, bullpen, BENCH,” don’t you think Bruntlett would have put two and two together?  This can’t be catching him off guard (as so many grounders to second have).

“Well, Ruben said they were going to re-work the bench, but I don’t think I’ve got anything to worry about.  I’m Eric Bruntlett.”

*Teammates and reporters in the Phillies locker room all look at each other awkwardly, make excuses, and leave the room.*

I don't even understand what the hell I'm looking at, here.

The other players subtracted from the Phils 40-man roster were Tyler Walker, Andy Tracy, Paul Hoover, and John Ennis.  Tracy, Hoover, and Ennis, in their early to mid-30s, all seem to have some offensive value, and have signed on to play in Triple-A Lehigh Valley.  Bruntlett refused this offer, and again, must have some kind of grand master plan to keep himself afloat that we don’t know about.  Like managing his brother’s Dairy Queen.  But then dropping ice cream all over the floor and getting demoted to mop-boy.

Tyler Walker will also not be a Phillie next year, a more surprising factoid from the move, but also not one that’s going to have a big, emotional effect on anybody.  Walker went 2-1 for the Phils, with a 3.06 ERA in 32 games.

“God, Eric Bruntlett was terrible,” sounds so much better than “God, Eric Bruntlett is terrible.”

"Of COURSE we promise not to burn any of you alive. Now get off the bus."

Crisis mode.

It would be easy to fill this page with the fire and noise currently decorating the comments columns of Phillies’ blogs the world over.  I’ve spent the last hour holding my breath and delving into the blogsophere, hoping for some sort of respite.

Some want Tyler Walker’s/Brad Lidge’s/Chase Utley’s head.  Others say Charlie Manuel is overdue for an old fashioned scream-a-thon.  I also saw one guy claim that the fans are coddling the players by not booing them, which, I was scared to realize, actually made sense to me.

I mean, its still Philadelphia.

But an interesting point is with Manuel, the guy who benched J-Roll for not running out a pop-up years back.  The fans agreed with him; Jimmy wasn’t hustling.

BENCHED.

So…why the new management style?  Did Charlie start taking Yoga classes?  Keeping a bong in his office?  Medidtating between pitches?  because everybody’s getting 13th and 14th chances these days, to the point where I think I’d even have a shot at a roster spot.

The sad part was, this was between pitches.

Limping into the playoffs isn’t pretty, and it does take away from some of the joy of getting there.  But its better than not getting there at all.

A lot of fans have downgraded to congratulating the braves for winning the division, which is…childish.  I don’t think anyone believes that, yet, but it makes them feel better to say it.  Assuming the worst for some reason, convinces people that it will soften the blow when it happens.

Or, if it doesn’t happen, they’ll be able to look around the room when the Phillies win with a sheepish “Aw, shucks,” grin and start the celebrating as the “nay-sayer.”

Won’t that feel good?

As for my opinion, I can’t predict the future, and I don’t think you can rationalize or make assumptions based on other teams, current or past, that have faltered near the end of the season.  I just know a championship team doesn’t play like we’re playing, doesn’t sit idly and watch the game pass them by, doesn’t pitter-patter their way through a game because they just don’t have the energy.

Honestly, my biggest concern is our inability (if we do lose)  to call out the Mets on the worst collpase in baseball history anymore.

I mean, damn it.  Its so fun that its true.

Earlier this year, I was in the left field stands when he threw a warm-up ball to a little girl.  Clearly, I had no problem with this.  In fact, I pointed at him.  And he pointed back.  We continued this gesture several times.  I sat down.

“That’s Shane,” I informed some nearby people who hadn’t asked.  ”We’re friends.”

But I’ve seen an evolution in the man this season.  The relaxed, carefree, “Let’s just play some ball” attitude is all but gone, and replaced by a guy who needs to relax.  Maybe it’s the parasite in his guts. Maybe it’s because his slump lasted a little longer than everybody else’s.  Maybe he’s sensitive about his weight.

"They're in my brain now!"

I don’t know what it is.  But the guy is clearly stressed, because the caught stealing temper tantrum he threw today was not indicative of a man who has a Bob Marley song played before every at-bat.

I wouldn’t say I’ve lost respect for him, but Shane may have a lot on his plate right now.  Going into the playoffs is a time when we need guys like Shane more than ever.  Players that come through, put the bat on the ball, and run with the speed of a screaming demon, pulled by a dozen stallions in a chariot of fire.

This is when we need every last ounce of baseball you can beat out of a player.

Magic number?  6.

Games to play?  10.

Games on Tuesday?  2.

Kudos to the bullpen, Tyler Walker especially, for disassembling to Braves this afternoon.  Nine of their 15 outs were strikeouts, including a game-ender by he-who-must-not-be-named.  And ever since the Nationals series, we’ve been putting the bat on the ball with relative ease.  You might say everything I’ve been complaining about has been rectified.

Which is probably why today’s post is so short.

It’s rally towel season, and with a clinch within our grasps, the streets of Philadelphia will be flooded with the jubilant cheers of the drunk and violent.

In a good way…not like the way the Eagles fans must be.

Ha ha ha ha.