Tyler’s mesmerizing 2012 season is now a thing of the past, as the 2012 International League Pitcher of the Year is now boasting a 5.40 ERA with 3.1 BB/9 and 1.3 HR/9.  Less exciting stuff this time.

Nevertheless, he’s been called up, out of necessity, not out of want, like young pitchers dream, when they’re dreams of being turned into a bobblehead are over.

Yes, please! RT @lindseyknupp: Tyler Cloyd bobbleheads tonight! Gates open at 5:45. #ironpigs #wherepigsfly twitter.com/lindseyknupp/s…

— IronPigs (@IronPigs) May 7, 2013

The 26-year-old righty made six starts for the Phillies last season, going 33 innings with 30 K’s, seven walks, and 18 earned runs.  He will be serving the same purpose this year, only instead of not Roy Halladay, he will be replacing Roy Halladay, and joining his IronPigs teammate, not-John Lannan Jonathan Pettibone, in the process.

So the Phillies’ rotation is an interesting one, with its best pieces hurt or ineffective, its most criticized piece performing at ace levels, and the holes being filled with young space-fillers, desperate to prove they’re more than AAAA types.  Also, Cliff Lee is there.  He’s fun to watch.

Meanwhile, the Phillies maintain the cloud of mystery around Roy Halladay’s condition, as he arrived in L.A. yesterday and received an inspection by Dr. Lewis Yocum.

Only time will tell if Doc was ever really here at all, or just another facet of my prolonged, fevered dreams.

They are merely the latest in a line of disappearances dating back to earlier last week.  Phillies officials are aware of the absences, and have responded that they are in fact the motivation for them.

As of today, the following players have been disappeared:

• Tyler Cloyd, master of Kyle Kendrick-replacement
• Sebastian Valle, master of wielding a catcher’s mask as a weapon
• Tyson Gillies, master of human body-hurling
• Mauricio Robles, master of team confusion
• B.J. Rosenberg

This is what B.J. Rosenberg, I learned today. Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Reports indicate that the Phillies intend to have enough players to fill out an active roster, but as they continue to mysteriously ship players out of camp, some have wondered if they are aware how many players will be needed.

Regardless, the Phillies camp is five players lighter, as the survivors return home this evening, wondering what the team – or, y’know, life, man – has in store for them.

“Will I even be here tomorrow?” Chase Utley asked.  ”Will I wake up in that corn field with the others?”

“What the hell was that?!” Cole Hamels screamed as the bat leaning on a bench slowly slid and clattered to the floor.  ”Jesus, I thought that was them.”

When pressed by whom he could be living in paralyzing fear of, Hamels shook his head and refused to speak, as he began to assemble a crude religious structure in front of his locker for “protection,” as Rich Dubee explained, rolling his eyes.

Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports

The 25-year old started six games for the Phillies in hopes of being the next Vance Worley, but did not possess the luck or goggles necessary to become as favored by the crowd.  People rooted for the kid, certainly, especially after he ripped the International League to pieces, winning Most Valuable Pitcher from the IL and the Paul Owens Award from the Phillies for the farm system’s best hurler.

But no one saw him as a long term contributor in the rotation, evidenced by the complete lack of debate on who will fill the fifth rotation spot.  It’s apparently John Lannan’s to lose, and even if he legitimately loses it, the Phillies may keep trusting him because they bothered to go out and get him and you never know if a guy is just having 19 0r 20 bad days in a row.

Cloyd may inherit the long relief role abandoned by Kyle Kendrick (THANKS A LOT, KYLE), or he could wind up nowhere.

Rich Dubee is not convinced that the 4.91 display Cloyd put in 33 innings at the Major League level is a fair enough assessment. He’s pegged Cloyd as a cunning, deceitful young man with low velocity, even going so far as to mention his name alongside Greg Maddux.

“Was Greg Maddux a flamethrower? I don’t think he threw 95.”

–Rich Dubee

He’s right; Maddux topped out at 91-92.  Which is, yes, not any indication of where Cloyd stands with the team, just his standing with Rich Dubee.  And if Rich Dubee hasn’t given up on you yet, then you’ve still got a shot.

Sorry, Kyle Kendrick.