Remember that surly old man in your head that I talked about in an earlier post?  Well, he is starting to get louder.  Maybe he is drunk, or maybe, just maybe he is watching these shitstorms along with us.  Based his whiskey tainted gravel voiced shouting, he is certainly watching the Phillies get swept by the Nationals franchise for the first time in history.

This one is another shut out by some random pitcher that no one has ever heard of.  The Phillies offense managed two hits off of Brad Peacock.  This is getting a little old.  It would stand to reason that even John Bowker or Pete Orr could get a hit off of some AAA guy, I mean, they are triple A players too.  But apparently, this rationale did not equate to any sort of offensive production.

The positive from tonight was Roy Oswalt.  His final line doesn’t look great, he ended up being charged with six earned runs, but actually sitting through this awful baseball game he was hampered by bad defense and was left in one inning too long.  His fastball reached 94 and he looked pain free in yet another start.

Bad defense, no hitting and John Bowker in the starting line-up. I think people who paid to attend this game should get a refund.  The Phllies finally scored a run in the ninth off of fat ass Todd Coffey.

Tomorrow the Phillies travel to New York to face the Mets.  Here is where the Phillies start to set up their postseason rotation and we all pray that Howard and Pence get healthy enough to return.

“Who even is John Bowker?” you ask, ignorantly.  Well, I just told you.  Yes, I’m going to pretend the joke-truth is the real truth in this post, instead of joking around at the beginning and then clearing things up with some smarmy-mouthed facts after the introductory paragraph.  It’s that kind of morning.  A joke-filled one. (more…)

The Phillies may have clinched playoff berth, but they’re not the only ones finding out what goes on afterward.  The Lehigh Valley IronPigs are also working their way toward a trophy, so join us as we chronicle their march to victory with astonishing bias.

Nate Bump took the mound for Game 2 of the International League playoff series between the Lehigh Valley IronPigs and the Columbus Shitbirds with no idea that he would not be awarded a victory on account of a horrendous screwjob.

With a runner on first, Bump hurled a 1-2 pitch that appeared to be a called third strike, but was deemed a ball, probably to spare batter Argenis Reyes’ feelings.  Either that or the umpires were instructed to do what they could to stretch the playoff series as long as possible in order to keep that sweet, sweet Triple-A money rolling in. (more…)