“Okay!” we shouted back at our televisions.  Then, we ran to the internet, where these things are done.  There were campaigns.  There were contests.  There were round-the-clock vote-athons at the Tastykake Factory.  There were Hawaiian governors walking around their state asking for votes.  Those are the four main components of getting some elected.  Anything more or less would have ended in disaster.

“Whoops, I fell down in the outfield,” Shane informed us.  ”Don’t worry, I’m totally fine.”

“Hmm,” we thought as he boarded a plane to Philadelphia to have his injured thumb examined.  ”That doesn’t seem like something a healthy player would do.”

“Ha, ha, I’m fine,” Shane replied.  ”Totally fine.  No one look over here.”

“But Shane, that looks like a doctor’s office you’re walking into.”

“This?  What?  No, no, no.  This is a… this is like a… bike shop.  Yeah.” (more…)