Jun 07, 2012; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia Phillies right fielder Hunter Pence (3) reacts after being stranded on base during the seventh inning against the Los Angeles Dodgers at Citizens Bank Park. The Dodgers defeated the Phillies 8-3. Mandatory Credit: Howard Smith-US PRESSWIRE

This is a pretty bleak headline.  What else can you say about a four game sweep?  Remember when the Phillies came within a Roy Halladay bout with his arm falling apart of sweeping the St. Louis Cardinals?  It is kind of like that, except the opposite.  The Phillies are supposed to be able to pitch and catch the ball.  They aren’t doing either thing particularly well right now.  Ask Wheels.  He would be more than happy to enlighten you about the team’s recent struggles.  Holy God, they have lost six straight games……we can all infer that they are not playing that well. 

Cole Hamels acquired a three run lead because of shoddy defense from the Dodgers and managed to some of it back with shoddy defense from the Phillies.  He gave it the rest of the way back  when he walked random hero Elian Herrera and allowed James Loney, Tony Gwynn and that olympic volleyball star’s husband to single in runs and give the Dodgers a 4-3 lead. 

Chad Qualls entered the game and with some help from some more crappy defense, managed to give up some more runs to make a one run lead a five run one.  One of the broadcasters said that this was the first four game sweep by the Dodgers in Philly since the 1940s.   In summation, Hamels didn’t win, no one really hit and the Dodgers, utilizing a line-up full of dudes that no one has heard of, swept the Phillies.  Also Don Mattingly has a chin that looks like a butt.

The moment that everything seemed to turn to crap for the Phillies was when Ty Wigginton made back to back errors in the top of the fourth inning.  It is pretty easy to bitch and complain about Placido Polanco’s lack of power, but he would have caught these two balls.  Hamels was cruising up to this point and he can all point at Ty and blame him…..I know I am.

The most attractive play in this one came from the Phanatic.  As far as baseball plays go, this one was pretty difficult to find anything remotely near attractive, but the Phanatic’s carefree four wheeler jaunts are always easy on the eyes.  I would like it more if he killed Andre Ethier, but I suppose you can’t have everything.

The hero of the game for the Phillies was Joe Savery.  He wasn’t terrible in two innings of relief.

The villain of the game was Ty Wigginton.  See above.

The Phillies has been bad at home so hopefully some time playing American league teams on the road will help.  Tomorrow they play the first place Orioles.  Joe Blanton gets the opportunity to give up home runs to Adam Jones. 

You would assume that a major league veteran would know better than to have facial hair this terrible. I do not miss you Brett. Howard Smith-US PRESSWIRE

Pretty much every member of the 2008 championship has earned a special place in the hearts of Philadelphia.  Even Geoff Jenkins, who, by all rights, was a pretty large disappointment from a production standpoint, is not despised.  The pretty much in the aforementioned statement is reserved exclusively for Brett Myers.  I don’t think he ever really got Philadelphia, or maybe he is just an asshole.  Either way, I never really root for the guy to succeed.  We all got another chance to see him tonight, but more on that later.

Cliff Lee looks to have fully recovered his exploded side muscle.  Cliff went eight innings giving up only a seeing eye home run to some fellow named Matt Downs.  (more…)

Charlie Manual’s team has wrapped up a bunch of stuff already.  The Phillies have won the division and have locked up home field advantage throughout the playoffs.  I keep writing this is every recap in order to quell the growing sense of panic that I am sure is welling up inside every Phillies fan.  In every one of us, there is an inner crotchety old man spewing vitriol and reminding us about 1964.  ”Fucking Gene Mauch pitched Chris Short and Jim Bunning every other day!  I’m sure that Charlie will find a way to fuck this up too.”  states the imaginary old man in your head, sounding remarkably like your high school gym teacher.   (more…)