That Balls Outta Here » Starlin Castro

Starlin Castro and Darwin Barney Shouted at After Loss to Phillies

Justin Klugh — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 17:21:42 +0000

It may have been hard for Mike Quade to stand there and watch the last 8 2/3 inning of Wednesday’s game, seeing as he never really got past the second play of the game. He just stood there in the Cubs dugout, stewing in his own angry-juice until the end of the game, when he was finally able to explode all over Starlin Castro for his dropped pop up that started one of the weakest Phillies “rallies” you’ve ever seen.

The nine runs that scored after that were just drops in his puddle.

“Let’s put the negativity behind us, play with some freaking intensity, and continue to work on playing the game the way we need to play — and we’re not. And it’s not universal. We have to clean up some specific areas.”

–Mike Quade (more…)

Phillies Confirm Every Single Trade Rumor You’ve Heard

Justin Klugh — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 17:39:13 +0000

“Including Dumb Ones,” source says

On a day when the midsummer humidity was leaving young families sobbing over the heat-stroked carcasses of dogs left in cars, it was very clear that Ruben Amaro was the only one in the room not sweating.

“That usually means he’s got something to say,” a source close to the Phillies GM reported. ”Or that he’s acquired an ace. Or gotten away with something awful. He’s a tough guy to judge based on what fluids are coming out of his body, really. I guess most people are. Its kind of a stupid way to monitor people. I guess we should just shut up and let him speak, huh? That’d probably be easier. Sorry for speaking to you unprovoked.”

As the deadline approaches, rumors tend to fly recklessly though Major League Baseball. Some are more easily debunked than others. But Ruben Amaro shocked the baseball world today when he held a press conference confirming that the Phillies had traded the entirety of their farm system for every single player they had been linked to in the past few weeks. (more…)

Series 6-Pack: “This team is the Island of Misfit Toys”

Justin Klugh — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 18:00:12 +0000

Jordan Campbell is one of those classy guys who gives thoughtful, intelligent responses when asked questions, instead of just doing a quick search for dick jokes inside his own brain every time he sees a question mark. You gotta appreciate a guy like that. Unfortunately, my answers to his questions will be appearing on Cubbies Crib, so, you know. The universe will be balanced out.

1. How does it feel to have other teams hungrily eyeing Cubs players, like sleazy businessmen prepared to shove briefcases full of money down their pants?

It actually is a very good feeling. With the exception of Darwin Barney, Starlin Castro, and Matt Garza this team is the island of misfit toys. We have a starting pitcher who turns into the incredible hulk, a closer who can’t throw strikes, a third baseman who only plays when his team is out of contention, and a left fielder who may be older than his baseball card shows. So by all means, those teams would be doing every Cubs fan a huge favor. (more…)