That Balls Outta Here » second base

Chase Utley to Raise Fan Hopes to Ridiculous, Unattainable Level

Justin Klugh — Mon, 23 May 2011 12:04:34 +0000

So, what, Chase?

You think you can just walk back into our lives after being away for so long?

You can! You can. Sorry. Do you need anything? Some money? Do you want to stand there and laugh while somebody throws firecrackers at Wilson Valdez’s feet? We can make that happen if you want. We’ll make Kyle Kendrick do it. (more…)

Chase Utley Permitted to Do a Knee-Related Thing

Justin Klugh — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 18:29:37 +0000

The Phillies have taken it easy on Chase, going against my advice to force him to run laps around the field at full speed from day one of his horrific knee injury in hopes that it would somehow fix everything; and if he explodes, he explodes. It’s all just a part of baseball.

But finally, after doing it in their own stupid, correct way, the Phillies are ready to allow Chase to operate his knee, under heavy supervision, with an armed guard present. (more…)

So This Luis Castillo Thing is Moving Right Along

Justin Klugh — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 14:20:39 +0000

I was walking down the street this past weekend when I blacked out in the middle of a busy intersection.

“The New York Mets released Castillo on Friday and the Phillies immediately expressed interest.”

–Todd Zolecki, MLB.com

Later, I went to my favorite sandwich shop but everything tasted like ash.

“Luis Castillo has agreed to a Minor League contract with the Phillies, a source said Sunday night.”

And now, just before I sat down in this chair, I glanced out the window and an entire flock of sparrows flew so directly into my neighbor’s sliding glass door that they could have only done it on purpose.

“The fact the Phillies are bringing Castillo into camp shows just how concerned they are about Chase Utley’s right knee.”

I am not looking forward to finding out why biblical verses keep appearing over my bed written in cow’s blood. Hopefully it’s unrelated. (more…)