But whatever dangers the natural world has in store for us, we don’t even know what sort of enhanced threats exist on Roy Oswalt’s property.  It’d be easy to assume he’s got some sort of “Most Dangerous Game” scenario set up, where sexy teens on spring break from Oblivious Cliches University stumble onto his property and wind up being hunted by Lil Roy with an old-timey musket and a squad of vicious wolfhounds.

The fact of the matter is, though, that you don’t have to just make shit up about nature for its abundant toxicities to seep into your system from even the most abbreviated exposure.  And Cole Hamels, while fishing on Roy Oswalt’s property, fell directly into nature’s trap.

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Let’s not be naive.  He was probably sunbathing. (more…)