“What they have over there in Philadelphia, it’s a really, really incredible pitching staff. Not just 1 through 4, but 1 through 5 (including Joe Blanton). But we can’t concern ourselves with that.”

–Ryan Dempster in the Chicago Tribune

Back when I still lived next to a tire fire, there was a cluster of wild dogs that roamed the neighborhood.  While the terrorized those of us going to and from middle school during the day, they would habitually seek out the unsquelchable, smelly warmth of the flames at night.

These dogs had no name.  They were merely referred to as “the dogs” or “OH NO HERE THEY COME.” Most times, the clattering of nails on the pavement was far too close to utter any sort of warning.  Anyone who has not immediately moving at full speed was soon to be dragged into the woods.  Or at least had their lunch devoured.  Usually the latter.  Never really the former.

The point is, this canine death squad didn’t need a clever a moniker to remain effective.  Regardless of the ease there would have been to name them after some mythic reference, their reputation alone spoke for them, as did the guttural, otherworldly sounds that seemed to come out of their mouths.  No one wasted time trying to pin a nickname on them, and we always knew how many there were because, even though they may not have all been equally formidable; together, they were nightmarish enough to maintain their status as “#1 Reason for Neighborhood Night Terrors.” (more…)