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Phillies Win 4-2 to end Long, Strange Trip
In some sort of baseball miracle, Ryan Howard hit a two-run single off a left handed pitcher in the 10th inning to give the Phillies a 4-2 victory over the Arizona Diamondbacks. Cosmic Charlie couldn’t…Read More
Phillies Suck, Lose by Nine Runs
It was like Opening Day, but with half the Phillies runs, and also injuries. I have trouble adopting a voice for some of these recaps. Like, am I explaining what happened to people who watched it? Or…Read More
Offensive Behavior: Phils Pound Reds, 12-5
15 hits? 12 runs? Based on the offensive numbers of last night’s game, you’d think it was played by some other team with a beating heart. Still the Phillies, though. It won’t ever be…Read More
Filet FROM Fish: Marlins Fry Phils Bullpen, 9-2
This is what this time is for–enter a situation, put in the youngsters, see what they do. It’s the experimental approach that gives us a reason to watch the games, or get out of bed in the…Read More
Kyle Kendrick Impresses with Dominant Performance Against Horse Sh*t Team
Watching Kyle Kendrick throw seven solid innings is like watching Roy Halladay throw seven solid innings, only you’re immediately suspicious of his success as a fluke or brought about by the curious…Read More
And more..
Total Re-Cole: Hamels Remembers How to Beat Miami, 4-0
The horrifying display Cole Hames put on last night took the pressure off the Phillies to perform like…Read More
I Agree With Kyle: Kendrick, Bullpen Unravel in 12-6 Loss
Yeah, it was a bad outing. –Kyle Kendrick Cole Hamels gave the Phillies the chance to win the series,…Read More
Ice Cole: Hamels Freezes Braves, 3-0
Okay so somebody pissed Cole off, but fortunately, there’s no way to tell who it was, so all we…Read More
Seven Sheets to the Wind: Ugly Phils Loss Leads to Inexplicable Headline “Puns”
The theory was that this series would be an important one for the NL playoff picture. Now, all the…Read More
Adam Bomb: LaRoche, Detwiler Doom Phils in 3-0 Non-Sweep
Is Ross Detweiler, like, good? I think he might not be. And with Cole Hamels starting on our end,…Read More
F*ck Yeah, Jimmy: Phils Humiliate Nationals 8-0 in Wake of Trades
Saddest tweet of the night goes to @teenagesleuth. Something’s wrong with my gamecast. There’s…Read More
Philadelphia 7-6ers: Phils Complete Sweep of Terrible Brewers Bullpen, 7-6
Boy, I hope you like the Phillies. The way they’ve played this series has been utterly ridiculous,…Read More
Just Stop Leaving: Phillies Re-Rally, Re-Win 7-6
The Brewers have scored 12 runs off Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee in the past two nights. They have no wins…Read More
Don’t Wig Out: Phillies Witness Walkoff, this Time as Winners
Last season, the Phillies once scored three runs in the ninth inning for a magical comeback win that…Read More
Phillies Avoid the Sweep, But Not Like You Think: Collapse in Extras, 5-3
You know, if Jonathan Papelbon isn’t going to be the brick wall of pitching that we are paying…Read More
1-39: Pence Welcomes Back Doc with Facial Hair, Late Rally
I sort of expected a different outcome to this game, so I’ll just use the game story I wrote just…Read More
Cole-arado: Hamels Rocks Rockies in 5-1 Win
Almost one month ago, Todd Helton took his foot off the bag. The misstep allowed Placido Polanco to reach…Read More
And It Was As It Was: Phillies Pick Right Back Up with 6-2 Loss
Why do we do this to ourselves? All it takes is “not baseball” for us to become convinced…Read More
McCann of Whoop-Ass: Everything Sucks for a Third time, Phils Lose 4-3
Shane Victorino was scratched late on Sunday. Whatever scratched him, it was serious enough to take…Read More
Shut the Hell Out: McCann Slams Home 5-0 Loss
“Heckuva pitchers’ duel,” Tom McCarthy called it. Yes, he said it today, in a Kyle…Read More
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