Anyways, I thought it would be worthwhile to ask him a few questions about the team that our hometown heroes have to face over the weekend. With this new fangled, year round inter-league play, the Phillies get to play teams like the Royals more often. I don’t know if that excites you or makes you sad. Either way we must know the enemy if we plan on defeating them and booing them properly.

How long have you been a Royals fan?

My first real memory of the royals is the dynamic outfield of Johnny Damon, Carlos Beltran, and Jermaine Dye in the late 90s when I was 9-10. I’ve been a diehard since the 03 season, our only winning year since the strike. No matter the loses, I’ll still follow them. I think it’s a personal problem.

Has it been as torturous as I imagine?

If the Phillies morphed into the royals for the next 25 years of your life, then yes. But only because you know what winning feels like. I’ve never experience a playoff game and barely a playoff race if you count 03. For me and most Royals fans, it’s more about the players than the record. How did Gordon look in left? How did Sorus look in the 9th? We develop more of a personal connection with players than anything else.

What are your hopes for the season?

I “hope” for a playoff appearance. I expect a winning record. But with the best pitcher and hitter in baseball in our division I can’t see us taking the division. I’m more excited about this season than any other in my lifetime.

When do you think those hopes will be crushed?

Memorial Day. That’s the norm.

Give us a rundown on two or three Royals that Phillies fans should know about.

Salvador Perez; carrying the hopes of all Royals fans

Salvador Perez – I truly feel he’s going to become the best catcher in baseball. A perennial gold glover and an outside chance at an MVP. He also signed the most club friendly contract in baseball ensuring he will be a Royal for the rest of the decade.

Alex Gordon- The secret is probably out on him, but he’s one of the best left fielders in the game. He’s earned back to back gold gloves after a rough start to his career. He’s really come into his own. And I love him in the leadoff role, about the only decision Ned Yost has made that I approve of.

Kelvin Herrera- Our set up guy, but I think future closer; a friggin’ hurler with the nastiest change up in baseball.

Wil Myers- The best pl…oh, wait. Nevermind.

The Royal are 1-2 and the Phillies are 1-2. Does it matter who wins this series?

Not in the least. It doesn’t matter, but I’d rather win it than not. I’m more worried about scoring more than five runs this weekend.

So there you go. Give it up for Pat, the best and only Royals fan I know. He has the the hope that I remember having in the early 2000s.  For his sake, I want the Royals to do well, just not this weekend.

Eric Hartline-US PRESSWIRE

Ah, yes.  Another Cliff Lee start in which we will see him perform well between brief, demoralizing moments that inevitably lose him the game.  Last time out was a definitive Cliff Lee start for 2012, as he struck out 12 Brewers, but gave up three home runs and left after 7.2 innings””Just one of those games,” he said for what feels like the billionth time this year.  Still without a win at home, Lee will have to count on the sinister, overpowering mojo the Phillies seem to have against the Reds and hope it provides all the good luck or stabilization his starts have been missing.

Homer Bailey

Charles LeClaire-US PRESSWIRE

Bailey has already hit his career high in innings pitched for the season.  Can we interpret this “high” to be his capacity as well?  Yes we can, as after a dominant July, he has gone 1-2 with an 8.24 ERA.  Of course, we’d be interpreting it right in the face of Reds pitching coach Bryan Price, whose list of brief cliches all clustered together indicates he disagrees.

“He’s aggressive. All the things that we want him to do, he’s doing. His bullpens have been really good between his starts. We’re really happy with the way he’s feeling. The strength is good. He just hasn’t been executing. We think we’ve put our finger on it. We hope to see better results moving forward.”

–Bryan Price

Here’s hoping the Reds’ fingers are far from Homer Bailey!

The Offenders

Three wins in a row and an offense scoring their second highest amount of runs last night, the Phillies seem to have what baseball scientists are calling “momentum.”  Despite the Reds’ second best record in the game and hot performances of late, they–except for Jay Bruce–can’t seem to get their shit together against the Phillies, and that inferiority complex might just be the missing piece for Lee to thrive and the offense to score double digits.

Of course, Homer Bailey hasn’t really given many of the Phillies breathing room over the last few years.  Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins are the best performers against him, hitting .273 with 4 RBI and .286, respectively.  But again, he’s been terrible lately, so, cheers.

Steve Mitchell-US PRESSWIRE

The surface level stats for Doc and challenger Leake are sadly comparable, except for “Number of Baseballs Crushed in Bare Hand as a Result of Terrifying Rage.”

But, again, Doc is in the middle of returning to form.  I assume we’ll be made aware when he reaches his actual form again, but it seems like this storyline is supposed to be stretched a bit thinner, so what the hell.  Sporting a 2-2 record i his last four starts, Doc looked ripe in his last outing, even though he got tagged for the loss.

His track record against the Reds should only be more reason to think he will keep up this momentum and use it to splatter the Reds into the wall.

Mike Leake (5-7, 4.29 ERA)

Frank Victores-US PRESSWIRE

Leake sounds positively Kendrickian in his performances; blowing several, then coming out last time and throwing a complete game five-hitter against the Mets.  Apparently he’s one of those weird pitchers you can’t just judge based on his statistics, which are bad; though he does have 12 quality starts, which most people and Reds manager Dusty Baker agree don’t matter at all if you lose the game.

Total Breakdown

The only Reds starts with more than nine at-bats against Doc are Brandon Phillips (18) and Jay Bruce (17), both of whom have more than survived their encounters, hitting .278 and .294 against him, respectfully and probably far lower numbers disrespectfully.  But other than that, playing the Phillies is generally considered horrible news in the Reds clubhouse–they’ve lost 15 of the last 19 games they’ve played in our fair city.

In fact, there aren’t a whole lot of numbers that give the Reds pause for this series, other than their stellar road record.  Last year, Halladay was undefeated against Cincinnati with an ERA under 2.00.  The year before, he smeared them across game one of the NLDS.  Obviously, situations have changed; the Reds are now the oppressive war machine moving swiftly toward the post season while the Phillies just sort of lie there and flail about until somebody smothers them.

The Reds are without Joey Votto, which hasn’t seemed to matter with Todd Frazier and Ryan Ludwick stepping in.  The Phillies are without a stable lineup, which some would argue is “way worse,” especially if Michael Martinez is in it, despite his recent home run.  Never feels like they should count when he hits them.  It seems like that’s more of a skill for the pitcher to toss a ball that even Michael Martinez could get out of the infield.

Ryan Howard’s batting average going into this four-game series has just skyrocketed 33 points to a nice, even .246, and Chase Utley is not a historic Red-killer so the opportunity could be taken for him to see some off time.  We all know how much he would love that.