The Phillies gave him a shot in September, and he hit a few home runs, gave some people reasons to mark him the next king of the boroughs.  It was a fun little narrative to learn about periodically while growing increasingly unkempt and unhygienic about the Phillies.

This year, Darin Ruf is out – the kid is old news, and we at TBOH are all about the cutting edge.  

Ruf is somewhere in Lehigh Valley, getting directions on how to get to the movie theater.  Down in Clearwater, Aaron Altherr – the guy whose name sounds like the first page of a children’s book about the alphabet – is being Darin Ruf even harder, and he’s not even limiting himself to home runs.

Damn…Aaron Altherr is at it again. 4-4, with a single, double, triple,ru, rbi and SB.

— Phuture Phillies (@PhuturePhilz) April 25, 2013

After 20 games, the 22-year-old right handed center fielder is hitting .342 with a .908 OPS, 25 hits, and nine doubles.

If he plays his cards right, he might just get to be mostly ignored, live the sweet life of a September call-up, get called “the something something” of the future by fans, put in some speculative projections for the 2015 opening day lineup, and then be forced by Phillies management to learn a new position because they’ve already got an outfielder lined up for next year and they don’t feel like dealing with all that darn paper work.

Apr 24, 2013; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Roy Halladay (34) delivers to the plate during the first inning against the Pittsburgh Pirates at Citizens Bank Park. Mandatory Credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

He was angry that he was called back to the dugout so Kevin Frandsen could hit for him in the sixth inning.  He’d given up one hit, one run, two walks, and eight strike outs.  He shouted at the umpire once which, combined with Matt Carpenter during his last start, brings the number of MLB employees who will have Doc-centric nightmares for the rest of their lives to two.

It was okay, though.  Frandsen stepped in and singled up the middle, knocking in Ben Revere who’d reached on an – you guessed it – infield single.  That brought the score to 3-1, a lead most Phillies starters only dream about, when they’re not having nightmares about Roy Halladay.

The other two runs came from Chase Utley, who socked a home run in the first, and Ryan Howard, who punched one in the fourth.  Charlie Manuel had split the two up in the batting order, knowing how doing things like facing a left-handed pitcher, as they were in Wandy Rogriguez, shatters their minds.

Doc was reminiscent of some other Doc who hadn’t filled us with dread to start the year.  Combined with his last start, he is slowly easing us back into a sense of security.  He had some help on defense from Chase Utley and Dom Brown – who made an insane diving catch in left – and both of whom robbed the Pirates’ John McDonald of a hit.

Apr 24, 2013; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Pittsburgh Pirates second baseman Neil Walker (18) tags out Philadelphia Phillies shortstop Jimmy Rollins (11) at second base after Rollins slid past the bag and tried to get back during the first inning at Citizens Bank Park. Mandatory Credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

Bastardo came on to relieve him and gave up a solo home run to Pedro Alvarez, which was fairly annoying.  Mike Adams followed him and things got pretty stupid.  Walking Jose Tabata, he then gave up a single to Starling Marte.  Humberto Quintero almost picked Tabata off second, but didn’t, because why would that happen.  Travis Snider stepped in and single to right, scoring the tying run and putting runners at first and third with no outs.

So then Jeremy Horst came on and immediately gave up another run to Brendan Inge, but evoked a double play out of Neil Walker (orchestrated by Ryan Howard, 3-1-3).  Dom Brown got on base with a second hit in the eighth, and Ben Revere promptly got himself and Dom out with a double play ball that unearthed some boos at the park and via Twitter.

Then Chase Utley could *quite* make a basket catch that resulted in an RBI triple.  Utley would also be the one to strike out to end the game the following inning.

J-Roll was thrown out once trying to turn a single into a double and trying to score when he maybe shouldn’t have.

When it all went wrong

Bases loaded, no outs in the eighth, and the team batting wasn’t the Phillies, so it would have been hard not to score runs.  But Utley’s not-catch sealed the deal as the Pirates pulled ahead by two runs, instead of just one, so it was more.

Hero

Doc, giving us the illusion of peace.

Villain

TBOH’s thoughts

“HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP I NEED AN ADULT.” –Quintero during foul pop-up behind home plate

— Justin Klugh (@TBOHblog) April 24, 2013

Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

The Phillies have been shut out three times in their last eight games.

Cole Hamels is 0-3 for the first time, ever.  He went eight strong, giving up seven hits, two runs, a walk, and six K’s.

The offense summoned four hits and one was Laynce Nix, off the bench again.

Ryan Howard, Ben Revere, and Domonic Brown all struck out twice each.

And in the bottom of the fourth inning, John Mayberry led off with a triple and never scored.

According to a web site called “How Baseball Works,” a triple is “a base hit which allows the hitter to reach third base.”  Leading off the inning meant that Mayberry was on third base with no outs.  All he needs is the ball to leave the infield.  

Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

It did not leave the infield.  In fact, Ben Revere’s weak grounder to third was hit at Mayberry himself, who took off on contact, and was easily pickled by Brandon Inge and Russell Martin for the inning’s first out.  Erik Kratz followed with the traditional double play ball.

And Pirates starter you hadn’t heard of before tonight and will forget immediately tomorrow Jeff Locke got the win.  The end.

So, huh.  Are we really gonna do this?  Again?

Charlie Manuel had some thoughts.

Charlie Manuel on Jeff Locke: “It wasn’t like he was doing anything fantastic.”

— Matt Gelb (@magelb) April 24, 2013

Manuel concerned/frustrated because his team saw a lot of fastballs that it didn’t hit. “We’re going to see if they can hit.”

— David Murphy (@HighCheese) April 24, 2013

On the plus side, Michael Young has a 14 game hitting streak going.  So all we have to do is ride that to the playoffs and we’ll be hoisting the flag in no time. Suck it, Nationals!

No, but this team looked really bad especially Ryan Howard, who appears genuine confused at times.

When it all went wrong

As the team was trotting off the field having not scored despite a lead off triple, there was a special moment in which everyone realized we would never score another run again.  It was quite humbling.  One of these teams went 0-for-13 tonight with RISP.  And you know what?  It was the Pirates.  The Phillies were 0-for-5.  So that’s telling.

Hero

At times, Cole Hamels looked like the only professional baseball player out there.

Villain

Jeff Locke, professional baseball pitcher. His nickname is “The Redstone Rocket.”  Seriously.

TBOH’s thoughts

This offense is going to turn around once Utley and Howard get back…

— John Stolnis (@FelskeFiles) April 24, 2013

@felskefiles not that all this criticism about everything isn’t warranted but it makes me sad

— Stupendous Man (@cachristy1) April 24, 2013

Young and Howard going for an extra base is like stegosauruses trying to outrun the meteor.

— Justin Klugh (@TBOHblog) April 23, 2013