That Balls Outta Here » pitching

Phillies Beg Kyle Kendrick to Stay in Rotation

Justin Klugh — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 20:43:49 +0000

At this point, you’ve got to be wondering what it would take to kick Kyle Kendrick out of this rotation. If you assumed that each of the starters being healthy would be enough, you were wrong. Dead wrong. Kyle’s not going anywhere. Possibly.

“We might, we might. That’s not out of the question.”

–Rich Dubee

Slowly, the Phillies are realizing that their starting pitching staff is not indestructible, and all it took was a slight Cole Hamels implosion to perk their ears up. Like the “tall guy” in an army platoon whose sent out to draw sniper fire, (EDITOR’S NOTE: This does not happen. Stop using it as your excuse for going to Canada in the event of a draft, coward) Cole was ordered out the mound to throw until his arm died. Which it did. (more…)

Phillies Management Unconcerned that Cole Hamels’ Arm “Dead”

Justin Klugh — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 15:00:47 +0000

In the second reference to link a Phillies starting pitcher with death this week, nobody seems to be worried that Cole Hamels’ arm seems to be going through a phase where it is “dead.” No word yet on if this was related to his hosting the after party of a jewelry exhibition.

“Sometimes it happens early, sometimes it happens in the middle, late … depending on the weather, the temperature, the schedule, how many games, innings, it just kind of happens,” Cole explained to a suspicious gathering of reporters, who asked him to specify whether he was talking about his arm or the “Diamonds and Denim Official After Party, hosted by the Spring Garden Social Club.” (more…)

Kyle Kendrick Enjoys Rare Wave of Complimentary News Items

Justin Klugh — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 13:57:14 +0000

Given the uncommon valor shown in Kyle Kendrick’s start yesterday, regional media outlets took the opportunity to sit us down and tell us The Kyle Kendrick Khronicles. Seeing as that none of us started the day with the highest opinion of KK, it was a pleasant surprise to see him succeed, or at least, not be killed.

And after the victory, the press saw a chance to whip out those Kyle Kendrick kompliments (and even a Kendrick/Halladay comparison or two) that they’ve been saving up just in case of Opposite Day actually happening. As The Kyle Kendrick Khronicles kontinue, let us thank the press for making us aware that Kyle was watching football on his couch when he found out Cliff Lee had been reacquired; that he is pretty okay; and that are currently demons living inside of him. (more…)