(more…)

“Manuel said he started struggling lefties Chase Utley and Raul Ibanez against lefthander Wade LeBlanc because he wants both to swing their way out of slumps. Ibanez entered the game hitting .209 (9 for 43) against lefties in 2010.”  -Philadelphia Inquirer

*Ahem*

(inside a very large hole)
Mayor Quimby: Mmm, I guess we’re not gonna find anything.
Otto: Well how we gonna get outta here?
Homer: We’ll dig our way out!
Chief Wiggum: No, no, dig up, stupid!

(more…)

“Wow, what a… stupid question,” his response should have been, followed by an immediate exit from the room in as rude a fashion as possible, maybe throwing an obscene gesture in there just because it’d be funny.

But what Roy really said was “I would never vote for myself.”

Of course he wouldn’t.  The guy took a full page ad out in a Toronto newspaper just to thank Blue Jay fans for the support he’s gotten as a member of their team.  I doubt he’s going to switch cities and claim to be the second coming of christ.

Roy went on to say about Cole Hamels, “The way Cole pitched in the playoffs a couple of years ago and at times last year, I think he’s up there,” which anyone with half a dozen brain cells can tell you means “I know you guys would love it if I sat here and lambasted my new teammate for so decidedly shitting the bed last year, but I’m Roy Halladay, not Brett f*cking Myers, so why don’t we chill with the loaded questions?”

And Roy didn't even bring up his ability to travel between dimensions.

As opposed to what the Philly Inquirer would have you believe he said with their totally unbiased headline,”HALLADAY PRAISES HAMELS IN INTERVIEW.”  Using that logic, they could have easily said “HALLADAY THINKS JOHANN SANTANA IS A PRETTY FUN GUY” (Roy said Santana “has always been fun to watch”) or “ROY HALLADAY TERRIFIED OF JOSH JOHNSON” (“Some of the Marlins’ younger guys are scary – Josh Johnson. There’s a lot of talent.”).

A guy willing to sit through this nightmare of an interview is probably a little more on the ball to know when he’s being fed a recipe for locker room drama.

What they want you to think is that Roy Halladay is prepared to tuck Cole under his arm like a duckling and carry him to the promised land if he has to.  Instead of assuming that the extra work Cole has put in and the careful eye he is under will make him a better pitcher, the press hopes that you will hope for the best because Roy Halladay says to.

So, relax, Phillies fans.  Roy Halladay’s in charge.  He’s got it all locked up.  And, like the Inquirer reports, upon some professional inquiring, Roy “…is probably the preeminent pitcher in the National League.”  They have to say probably because he’s never thrown an official pitch in a Phillies uniform.

I’m not saying Roy Halladay isn’t incredible.  I’m saying he is.  I’m also saying this “interview” question was a complete travesty.