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New Phillies Ball Girls Mistaken for Outfield Depth
The Phillies are currently on the hunt for outfield depth to supplement the four-man outfield platoon that could realistically fill out the corners. Fans were thrilled last week to find out the team…Read More
Raul Ibanez Uses Time Off to Increase Groin-Power
The human groin is the strongest muscle in nature. At least, it has the potential to be. Like any muscle. The point is, we all have one, and with enough exercise, weight lifting, careful grooming,…Read More
Raul Ibanez is No Julio Franco
I’m not mad at Raul. I certainly would be if were losing a lot. Or probably if we didn’t have the best April record in Phillies history. Or if I couldn’t find my keys this morning. Raul…Read More
Shane Victorino Survives Blood-Splattered Collision with Raul Ibanez
If there was one guy on this team who would suffer a bone-first collision to the face, lie there motionless for several minutes, slowly stand up, still twitching involuntarily, and ignore the copious…Read More
Jon Jay is Newest Guy Phillies Aren’t Not Pursuing
With all of the success we’ve had acquiring people, Ruben has turned us into sickening junkies, always elbowing our way into trade talks where we don’t belong. This is part of the reason…Read More
And more..
Jayson Werth Still Has His Pride; No Beard
As he sat there, shifting uncomfortably and stupidly beardless, a small conclave of unshaven rebellion…Read More
Phillies Hilariously Screwed as Nationals Sign Jayson Werth
Yes, in a bit of news so important that I had to finish that last post before it was funny, Jayson Werth…Read More
A Quick Jayson Werth Update to Interrupt Your Breakfast
Put down your cereal. I know its delicious; put it down. *Takes spoon away from you forcefully* Read…Read More
Phillies Getting Intimate with Juan Samuel a Second Time
While the Eagles are busy stealing members of the Vikings practice team, the Phillies are flipping through…Read More
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