That Balls Outta Here » offense

Environmental Group Foolishly Pins Hopes to Phillies’ Offensive Output

Justin Klugh — Tue, 01 May 2012 14:00:43 +0000

For some causes, to barrel through the eternal adversity and challenges provided by a thoughtless world, they must attach themselves to a power greater than their own. Through greater exposure, a wider support base, and rising popularity, perhaps then; then they will be heard, and forge change where there was once only silence.

And in this case, that entity–that power–is the Philadelphia Phillies offense.

Howard Smith-US PRESSWIRE

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Nothing Witty To Say: Garza Shuts Down Phils 5-1

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 12:33:03 +0000

Really? A one hitter? Mandatory Credit: Steve Mitchell-US PRESSWIRE

I am not really sure what to say here. I suppose I could attempt some form of analysis, but that may be a little too rational for me right now. Matt Garza is a pretty good pitcher. He looked like Tom freaking Seaver. The Phillies managed one hit, a bloop single in the top of the first by Jimmy Rollins, and proceeded to be retired in order until Juan Pierre walked in the sixth inning. They managed to avoid the shut out by letting Carlos Marmol walk in a run.

Ty Wigginton’s hit streak is over. The offense didn’t work the count and didn’t make contact as evidenced by Garza’s ten strikeouts. I suppose the only solace you can take from this shit storm is that Kyle Kendrick didn’t ruin everything. 5-1 Phillies loss.

Turn the page. Vance Worley goes up against Chris Volstad. I think they should let a half crippled Ryan Howard hit on account of how much he has killed him over the years.

editor’s note: I would post a box score, but there is too much blood.

Maholm Drive: Phillies Outsuck Cubs in 5-1 Loss

Sat, 28 Apr 2012 13:03:05 +0000

Apr 27, 2012; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Chicago Cubs pitcher Paul Maholm (28) delivers to the plate during the sixth inning against the Philadelphia Phillies at Citizens Bank Park. The Cubs defeated the Phillies 5-1. Mandatory Credit: Howard Smith-US PRESSWIRE

I get it. Slumps happen. I tell myself that this whole thing is still just a relatively small sample size, but still watching a guy who wasn’t good enough to pitch for the Pirates out pitch Roy Halladay is just down right sack punchingly difficult to watch. This game caused me to forget myself and say the “f” word in front of my impressionable young nephew. The only solace I can take from my inability to control my emotions is that I am fairly positive that his father was uttering the same expletive at the same time.

The Phillies lost this game 5-1. Roy Halladay pitched seven innings and allowed three runs. Paul Maholm went 6 1/3 innings and allowed one run. Let me go over that one more time for you. Paul Maholm, not a different Maholm who can actually pitch, but the very same terrible Paul Maholm who can into the game with an inflated ERA and suspect control. (more…)