Now that is more like it.  No rain, no runs, no game winning home runs, no Ryan Zimmerman ruining everything.  The Phillies bounced back from a tough weekend in Washington by kicking the living hell out of the New York Mets.  Sure, some of the luster has disappeared from beating the Mets as they are a slightly below average baseball team, but it is still nice to watch David Wright strike out. (more…)

The business of baseball is crazy!

For the Phillies, the question marks are Chad Durbin and Chan Ho Park.  The Phils need to decide whether these guys are getting arbitration or not.  If its offered, and they accept, their salary remains to be determined, but should they choose to sign elsewhere, we get a draft pick.

I think.

I don’t know, this part of baseball feels like a circus that nobody wants to go to.  So like, a normal circus.

Should Placido Polanco be offered arbitration by the Tigers, we’re going to see his price tag take a trip north.  However, if the Phils sign him, we have to give the Tigers our first-round draft pick as well.

Canada is crazy!

Speaking of north, Matt Stairs is Canadian; Fredericton, New Brunswick Canadian to be exact.  While Matt hasn’t been signed anywhere (yet), he is getting his name put on a sign.

A street sign, to be deemed “Matt Stairs Way,” just outside Royal Field Park, where he first signed a pro ball contract. Anyone who has seen Matt Stairs play knows that the “Matt Stairs way” is to abuse baseballs physically and then eat twelve steaks.

Chris Coste has also been signed, but his signing differs greatly from the previous story, as he was: A.) Not given a street in Canada, and B.) Signed by the New York Mets.  Bleccch.  I’m assuming the copy of his book I asked for for Christmas will now include an addendum entitled “Ewww, Gross.”  Am I remembering correctly that there is a part of the 2008 Phillies DVD where Coste is in front of a microphone, saying that he and the Phillies hate the Mets?

Allen Iverson is actually crazy.

Awkward.

Categorically not signed was TBS Sports’ Chip Caray, who made so many mistakes this offseason he could have been an umpire.  Not only was there the infamous Nick Punto line drive-base hit-double play fiasco during the Twins-Tigers playoff, but the man dropped more uses of the word “fisted” than anyone would have deemed necessary had they been playing with only their fists.

And the Sixers want to sign Iverson!  Whoa!  This is getting wacky.

I can’t wait to see what happens on that even crazier “Sign Your Non-free Agents” Day, December 12!

While the world of the Mets has turned upside down.

As their players are wounded,

Or hit in the head,

Or falling down steps,

Or possibly dead.

I remember the days when we were both at the top.

When we both had great defense,

And all our bats still had “pop.”

Our division was home

To two teams, not one

That could taste the post season,

And were still having fun.

As we stepped in and out of each other’s way,

Swapping turns in first place,

It seemed to change by the day.

“Did we win?!  Did they lose?!” we’d wake up and ask.

All through the summer, a continual task.

And then, one day, the Mets threw in the towel.

“Playoffs?!  No thanks!” they said, with a growl.

“We’d rather be home all winter, you see.

We’re fine watching you guys play on the TV.”

And watch us they did, with hate in their hearts,

As we went to the playoffs…and blew it from the start.

The next year, we stomped them, and came home as the best.

“We’ll get you next year!” the Mets screamed.  ”It’s our quest!”

As our rivals, we hate them, and beating them’s fun.

But what can we do if we’re still number one?

And the Mets won’t stop losing, or hurting themselves,

As more and more trophies go up on our shelves.

Its just not the same to run up the score,

To strike out the side,

Its now just a bore.

Come on guys, at least try.

There’s nothing to fear.

They suck in Chicago, but they’re still throwing beer.

I guess its just different

From their side of the fence.

What would we do

If everybody was tense?

If Ryan was crippled, and Chase had a cold,

And Shane broke his pelvis, and Raul knew he was old.

Would we still be the offensive team of the East?

Would we still have our trophies, or would our luck be deceased?

It’s a tragic story, this year for the Mets,

With all of their fans losing all of their bets.

But I can’t say I’m sorry,

Just that it really sucks,

That when we sweep you next week,

It’s thanks to your luck.

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