-Wake up

-Shake last remnants of night terrors out of head

-Turn on Sportscenter

-See Josh Elliot’s face, scream brief tirade of horrific profanity at television

-Record outburst in “Outburst Journal” for rage-therapy

-Head to kitchen, glare suspiciously at mascot on generic Cheerios box because he looks like character I once doodled in college

-Open internet, read latest story on the destruction of Chase Utley, and by proxy, the Philadelphia Phillies

-Realize sliding glass door was left open the night before and living room now flooded with rain water/stray cats

-Leave house, assuming all problems will be fixed by the time I return in several hours (more…)