Jay Floyd at Phoul Ballz has a way more intense and far more comprehensive version of exactly what we’re about to do (and have been for three or four weeks).  And Jay does this kind of stuff all the time, reporting on your favorite Phillies Winter Leaguers!

“Infielder Michael Martinez has posted a .121 average…”

–Jay Floyd

Over at his site, you’ll get updates on your Maikel Francos, your Edgar Durans, your Cody Overbecks.  Basically it’s so informative and good looking it makes me wonder why I would even bother throwing one together myself.

Why?  WHY?! Because it’s Minors f*cking Monday, that’s why.  Get out of my face.  Darin Ruf and Tyson Gillies have gone home, and a couple other of fellows have put up some standout numbers.

Ruf, as we know, had a shot at the single season home run record, but chose to come home and be with his family for Thanksgiving.  When the Phillies brass finally convinces him that the Phillies and home runs are his family now, we won’t have to deal with inconveniences like this.  Gillies, on the other hand, is making use of the time that is given to him.  Until he reaches that threshold of innings logged that gives the brass and the media the proper amount of stats to judge him–what a magical day that will be!–he will be forever linked to his shortage of time.

Meanwhile…

Freddy Galvis (SS)

140 AB, 44 H, 5 2B, 2 3B, 5 HR, 20 RBI, .314/.345/.486

Freddy saw that batting average dip down a cataclysmic three points, but added another home run to his Winter Leagues total this week.  He committed an error in Tuesday’s game, but singled in his first two at-bats, and converted the outs in his last two into RBI with a ground out and a sac fly.  He spent a decent chunk of the rest of the week striking and grounding out, except for the home run, though he is continuing the trend of making his ABs useful, even if they end in outs.  On Friday he booted another grounder and left the game in the second inning.

Justin Friend (RHP)

17.1 IP, 5.19 ERA, 19 H, 10 ER, 9 BB, 17 K

Justin entered Thursday’s game for Tiburones La Guaira, tasked with protecting a 4-1 deficit.  Immediately giving up a home run, he proceeded to get the next two guys to fly out, only in the second guy’s case, the ball “flew out” of the stadium.  The next hitter flew out, and then he walked a guy, and then Justin’s turn was pretty much over.

Sebastian Valle (C)

56 AB, 12 H, 2 2B, 2 HR, 7 RBI, 21 SO, .214/.264/.357

Sebastian didn’t see action until Friday, in which he GIDP’d in his first at-bat.  He’s in a bit of a hole offensively, but clawed his way up from the .200 mark he set last week.  It’d be hard for anybody to make a substantial effort with only six plate appearances to work with, but Sebastian did his best, knowing two base hits, and being struck with the ball once.  But in the games in which he appeared, his team (Caneros los Mochis) was outscored 21-9, so it’s not like anybody’s hitting with supplemental dynamite.

Solid behind the plate, Valle is considered to be volleying with Tommy Joseph for a Lehigh Valley catching gig.  Neither has ripped the world in half in either of their leagues, so any progress can be seen as instrumental.

Steven Lerud can’t stare off into the distance without a Staind song playing. Steve Mitchell-US PRESSWIRE

Steven Lerud (C)

16 AB, 6 H, 1 2B, 3 RBI, 5 BB, 3 SO, .375/.500/.625

Yes, Steven recovered from his emotional trauma of the 2012 regular season at the Major League level and has spent the Winter firebombing Dominican pitching.  In 16 ABs, he’s put up a 1.125 OPS, and I know you’re all tripping over each other to scream “SMALL SAMPLE SIZE” first, but Steve came ready to play.  Or at least is seeing the ball to his liking for the time being for whatever reason, for Toros de Este.

Plus he started the week by throwing out Dee Gordon at second, which is damn near unfeasible.  But he’s a guy who will homer one inning and drop a pop-up the next (which he did Wednesday).

I know an ostrich-chewed lawn when I see one. [c/o News 11 Sports]

It’s marketing 101 that the Fightins will be unleashing a salvo of PR schemes to distract us from the real story, their betrayal or whatever.  I never voted to change them from the R-Phils to the R-Fightins.  Why should it be my double-A affiliate’s name?!

So, give it your best shot, Fightins, and we’ll see if you can penetrate our mighty resolvehey look they won an award.  What? No I don’t know what it’s for yet.  I didn’t get that far.  It’s an award, who cares what it’s for!  It’s AMAZING!  LADIES AND GENTLEMEN YOUR 2012 AWARD-WINNING READING FIGHTIN PHILS HA HA HA HA HA YEAH!

It’s been proven by research that a stadium’s turf plays a huge role in a team’s success.

In all seriousness, keeping a facility’s grounds intact is no simple task.  What’s your job?  Sitting at a desk?  Delivering crap?  Serving and protecting the people of the city?  Get out of here.

But as far as a baseball team goes, the grounds crew can often be overlooked.  Fans are more enamored by what’s happening on the field than what’s happening to it.  Nobody runs onto the field just to roll around on the grass and smell it and appreciate it.  They just want to touch the players or feel up the players or stare one of the better players in the eye and chant your name so that when they’re famous they’ll never be able to forget you because they can’t escape the weird memory.

It’s for this and far less reasons that people should be more aware of guys like Dan Douglas of the Reading Fightins, who was voted Sports Turf Manager of the Year by Sports Turf Manager Association.  He gets to accept it in Nashville, Tennessee at the Winter Meetings, a process he is vastly familiar with after receiving this same exact award in 2009.  It’s a tradition the Phillies farm system considers a top priority, as single-A Clearwater’s Opie Cheek has won it for the Florida State League every year since 2004.

So, what’s Douglas’ secret?  Ostriches?  Ostriches are known to eat grass, seeds, roots, and even swallow rocks–all the things that keep a field tidy and well manicured.  Douglas takes home another Turf Award, the same year his franchise changes its logo to feature an ostrich, while working for a Major League affiliate who prides its farm system in maintaining pristinely managed facilities?!  This is rank with conspiracy!

We will get to the bottom of this scandal, barring any further news of any kind about anything.

Yes, that can happen.  Baseball is weird.  The Rule 5 Draft is baseball’s way of telling you that nothing is safe, not even that guy you thought nobody wanted.  Yeah, that guy.  I know, right!  Weird.  Remember when the Phillies stole Michael Martinez from the Nationals?  We sure showed them!  Anyways, yeah.  Here are our Winter League prospects, going from hottest to coldest.  Sort of.  They should all be safe, but like I said, the Rule 5 Draft is scary.

Darin Ruf (OF)

120 AB, 31 H, 8 2B, 10 HR, 27 RBI, .258/.368/.575

Another league, another home run record Darin Ruf just has to snuff out.  **Sigh**.  A power-starved lineup like the Phillies could certainly use a young monster in the fifth or sixth spot, blasting dingers like some sort of guy who has become unstoppable for no reason.  But without a DH role to fill, Darin will have to play in the field, a matter that is joked about by many.  Last week’s update included some humorous quotation marks around Darin’s position, as if he didn’t actually play it.  It was all very funny, and we all had a good laugh.  Look at you, laughing just remembering it.  Well it’s not funny.  If we force it to be a serious thing, then maybe it will become one.

Meanwhile, Darin doesn’t even care.  He just wants to go home for Thanksgiving, Venezuelan home run records be damned.

He has too much power for even him to care about.

Freddy Galvis (SS)

126 AB, 40 H, 5 2B, 2 3B, 4 HR, 14 RBI, .317/.353/.454

Heeeeey, what’s up Fre–holy shit, look at those numbers.  They’re all higher than Darin’s, except for the home runs, and even that Freddy balances out by getting hits that aren’t home runs once in a while.  Has Freddy Galvis learned how to hit?  Are people going to start taking him seriously as a third base option?

Ruben Amaro already has had secret phone conversations with his father about playing Freddy at third this winter.  This is so shifty it just might work.  Or fail.  And no one will ever know.  Because of how shifty it was.

Tyson Gillies (OF)

51 AB, 15 H, 2 2B, 1 3B, 4 RBI, .294/.357/.373

Last week, Tyson was hitting over .320, sitting pretty.  17 at-bats later, his average is below .300 and he’s back in America.

And first food back on American soil goes to Panda Express:) #bueno!

— Tyson Gillies (@TysonGillies21) November 19, 2012

Those numbers up there are his finishing stats for Winter Ball, meaning he did cool down a bit in the stretch, but let’s keep in mind that he’s probably getting a bit gassed from trying to make up for lost time and also eating at Panda Express.

Sebastian Valle (C)

50 AB, 10 H, 2 2B, 2 HR, 7 RBI, .200/.255/.360

Meanwhile, in Mexico, Sebastian Valle has taken a turn for the sub-Mendoza line.  His average has dropped 35 points and he’s only notched two hits in that time.  Of course, we’re only talking about a week.  But.  Damn.

Sebastian Valle 0-for-1 as PH for Los Mochis in Mex Lg on Sat. Valle now just 1-for-16 in 5 games this month. #Phillies

— Jay Floyd (@PhoulBallz) November 18, 2012

Justin Friend (RHP)

16.2 IP, 4.32 ERA, 8 ER, 8 BB, 17 K

Justin, of the 1.32 ERA last week at this time, has seen some hard times.  On Thursday, he entered a game in the eighth, with La Guaira Tiburones down 7-4.  After surrendering a lead off double, he recorded an out, then intentionally walked the next guy, and then–single, single, strikeout, double.  When he left the field, four earned runs in 0.2 innings had left his numbers a bit cock-eyed.

But Justin was a distracted.  Based on his Twitter account, he was in the middle of orchestrating a garage sale in another country.  His bike didn’t sell for the $150 price tag but apparently somebody bought his pants.