UPDATE: It’s not great.

Apr 9, 2013; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Mike Adams (37) delivers to the plate during the ninth inning against the New York Mets at Citizens Bank Park. The Phillies defeated the Mets 8-3. Mandatory Credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

Adams threw a game of catch the other day to prove how little the back spasms he’s been suffering were offending him, but then admitted later that even this action required a shot of painkilling.  He was technically unavailable in yesterday’s day game due to his condition, though he was probably also uninterested to be a part of a disgraceful 10-4 loss.

If this continues, Adams may be on the way to the MRI machine, which indicates a trip to the DL.  Subtracting Adams, whose had his own problems, from a bullpen that already features a whole arsenal of disarmed hurlers, would probably mean a lot more six or eight out saves for Jonathan Papelbon.

Chad Durbin and Jeremy Horst solidified the most recent polls yesterday with quickly derailing performances – Durbin got two outs, then walked the pitcher and allowed an infield single, and Horst came on to walk a guy on four pitches and then allow two runs to score.  It was kind of amazing, really; like watching nature in action.

So hopefully, Adams’ back spasms – a new ailment for the career set up man – are willing to settle down for a bit, for the sake of the Phillies bullpen stability.

But they hardly ever do that.

They’re back spasms.

Apr 24, 2013; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Mike Adams (37) sits in the dugout after being relieved during the eighth inning against the Pittsburgh Pirates at Citizens Bank Park. The Pirates defeated the Phillies 5-3. Mandatory Credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

They say a lot of things about pitching, but “needing a back” is one of the things they tell you on the first day.

Mike Adams still has his back, but unfortunately, it’s trembling and twitching all over the place.  Adams was waiting for Jonathan Papelbon to show up yesterday so he could make sure somebody would be able to throw in his stead.  Paps, having just gone through the trauma of a five-out save, was not necessarily going to be available.

But Papelbon was more than happy to throw, giving Adams a break so his back could finish doing whatever it was doing.

So it was without their set-up man that the Phillies entered the eighth inning, needing a hold.  They got one from Jeremy Horst, who struck out two, in a more successful outing than Adams has been able to manage recently.

After the game was tied, a Bastardo-De Fratus cocktail finished the ninth, giving way to Papelbon in the tenth, who again, after recording a longer save than usual, had his life hanging in the balance.

An unforgivable offense, per Chris Wheeler, but one that got the Phillies a victory all the same.  No word yet on the spasming back of Adams, who at least has the day off before another a weird two-game series with the Indians requires his attention and spine.

The latest hint of misery comes from Mike Adams’ camp.  You may remember Adams from giving up some home runs that were pretty annoying.  Regardless, a healthy Mike Adams is a hell of a weapon in the eighth inning, so if he’s suffering any sort of issues, then things may start getting pretty flimsy out there in the pen.

“I wish I felt a little bit better, it might just be coming off surgery.”

–Mike Adams

The slip-up was all we needed for the festering lies to expose themselves.  Adams tried to cover it with an immediate follow-up.

“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel bad, but I wish I felt better.”

–Mike Adams

Apr 9, 2013; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Mike Adams (37) celebrates with catcher Erik Kratz (31) after recording the last out of the ninth inning against the New York Mets at Citizens Bank Park. The Phillies defeated the Mets 8-3. Mandatory Credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

Sure, sure, sure – suddenly you want super powers.  We get it.  It’s not a normal health thing at all.  That would make too much sense.

It was mentioned prior to the season that Adams’ health issues (thoracic outlet syndrome) are the same as former Cardinals starter Chris Carpenter’s health issues – the same ones that forced him to retire.  After his initial surgery, he was told he would feel like he had “a new arm.”

We can reasonably assume at this point, then, that the arm that was attached to him originally belonged to a murder convict, who loved to kill people slowly by forcing them to watch him give up late-inning home runs over the course of a baseball season.