“Cliff Lee touched home plate, looked toward the visitor’s bullpen 360 feet away, brushed his right hand with his left hand like a bank teller counting cash and smiled.

It was not a home run celebration.  It was a message to Kyle Kendrick, who was sitting in the bullpen, to pay up.”

–Todd Zolecki

Kyle knew it as soon as the ball sailed off the bat.  Cliff had done it again.

“Woohoo!”  David Herndon exclaimed.  ”This is great!  Pitchers hitting home runs!”

Mick Billimeyer took his traditional celebratory swig from the flask he had duct taped to the bottom of his folding chair.  ”Siddown, Herndon.  Nobody paid to see you.”

Herndon obeyed, while pouting.  ”But what if I go into the game?”

The 20 minutes of hoarse, hysterical laughter from the bullpen coach seemed to indicate that he believed this was not possible tonight.  ”You see the way Cliff’s pitching out there?  Looks like he made a deal with the devil.  And the deal is that Cliff Lee never gets to be nothing but awesome at baseball, the end.”

“Why do you hate us long relievers?!” Herndon shouted back.  The outburst was rare, but not totally unexpected.

Mick stood up.  ”Because seeing you freaks in a game means something’s gone horribly wrong.  You’re like starters nobody trusts enough to start.  Now, fight each other for an inning and half for my amusement!” (more…)