That Balls Outta Here » matt cain

Hamels Bests Cain 2-1

Sun, 07 Aug 2011 00:35:48 +0000

Pablo Sandoval ruined a shutout for Cole Hamels. Hamels had a shut out going into the ninth inning, but the Giant’s slightly less portly third baseman pulled a 2-1 fastball into the left field seats. A Giants fan donning a Will Clark jersey caught the home run ball and proceeded to run around like the Giants just won the game. (more…)

Cain Bests Hamels as Author Careens Violently Toward Expletive Laden Rant

Thu, 28 Jul 2011 02:51:45 +0000

I am having a difficult time writing anything resembling coherent, rational thought after tonight’s game. I can not really put my finger on it, but losing to a team like the Giants renders me a cursing, angry, belligerent mess.

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Phillies Big Game 3 Moment Arrives; Departs Without Incident

Justin Klugh — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 03:33:51 +0000

It didn’t really even occur to me that we could lose.

Yeah, I saw the stats. We suck in AT&T. The Giants can hit Cole. Chase hasn’t been Chase. I don’t know what to tell you. I assumed some awesome thing would happen

So I suddenly realized, while waltzing down California Street in a bright red hoodie, that I was a marked man. Surely there was a sniper with a Giants hat perched at the top of the nearest skyscraper. Fans leaving the game would assemble into a terrifying mob of violent celebrants, vicious with ecstasy, flipping news vans, chucking televisions, and offering victims nothing but arrogant cheers and double middle fingers.

All of my past taunts of opposing fans were coming back to destroy me. No doubt I’d earned it. The Mets fan I announced was sterile. That baby in the Yankees hat I booed at the company picnic. That dog wearing a Braves sweater I lured into the intersection with marshmallows.

“Toto,” I said. ”I don’t think we’re in Philly anymore.”

“Please stop calling me that,” demanded the pretzel vendor. ”You buyin’ a pretzel or not?!”

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