Thanks, LA! Mandatory Credit: Rick Scuteri-USA TODAY Sports

Every Phillies fan should, right now, at this very moment, stop whatever they’re doing, go to FTD.com, and buy a nice arrangement of flowers for Angels owner Arte Moreno and general manager Jerry Dipoto.

Heck, maybe even throw in some chocolates and a little teddy bear or something.

It’s wonderful to see the Angels are doing all they can to make sure the best player in baseball, Mike Trout, becomes a Phillie when he reaches free agency in 2018.

Mike Trout will make $510,000 next year. The MLB minimum is $490,000. Let’s do the math: ow.ly/ijYmF

— SportsonEarth (@SportsonEarth) March 4, 2013

Yes, that’s right. The man who should have been AL MVP last year, at just 21 years old, will make just $20,000 more than the league minimum this year, earning $510,000 this year.

In 2013, it will take Mike Trout 55 days to earn what A-Rod makes in 1 day for not playing (H/T @sportstaxman)

— darren rovell (@darrenrovell) March 2, 2013

Baseball is an $8 billion industry. Mike Trout, its best player, will make .006% of its revenue this year. That’s 6/1,000ths of 1%.

— Jeff Passan (@JeffPassan) March 3, 2013

by paying mike trout 510 grand, angels r paying him about 1/40th what theyre paying vernon wells. fair? not in this world!

— Jon Heyman (@JonHeymanCBS) March 2, 2013

Normally, star players who win Rookie of the Year get a little bit more of a bump after a terrific first season. For example, Evan Longoria saw his salary raised $50,000, from $500,000 to $550,000, after his Rookie of the Year campaign in 2008. Dustin Pedroia went from $380,000 to $457,000 after his rookie season, Justin Verlander jumped from $980,000 to $1.03 million after his rookie year, Buster Posey went from $575,000 to $615,000, Ryan Braun got a raise from $380,000 to $455,000, Hanley Ramirez went from $327,000 to $402,000 after his Rookie of the Year season, and Ryan Howard got a bump from $316,000 to $365,000 after his Rookie of the Year campaign.

Compare that to the scant $20,000 raise the Angels gave Mike Trout.

Trout, for his part, is taking the high road.

“I mean, my time will come,” Trout said this weekend. “I just have to keep putting out numbers and concentrating on one thing, and that’s getting to the postseason.”

Isn’t he just the best, guys?

Trout, a Philly native, has said his favorite team growing up was the Phillies. And by growing up, I mean, like two or three years ago. You know, when he was an official member of the Angels.

Trout’s father recalled a story from a few years back when in the middle of the night, Jeff heard Mike scream from his room.

“Dad, we got Roy Halladay!” Mike yelled. To which his Dad responded: “the Angels got Halladay?”

“No, the Phillies did!” Mike replied. “Son, you’re a member of the Angels. What’s with this we?!”

If he got that excited about the Phils signing Halladay, can you IMAGINE how excited he’s going to be when he finds out HE signed here?

Clearly, this contract offer is a smack in the face of Trout. At least, that’s how Trout’s agent Craig Landis feels about it.

“During the process, on behalf of Mike, I asked only that the Angels compensate Mike fairly for his historic 2012 season, given his service time,” Landis said in a statement. “This contract falls well short of a ‘fair’ contract and I have voiced this to the Angels throughout the process. Nonetheless, the renewal of Mike’s contract will put an end (to) this discussion.”

I immediately like this man and would like to subscribe to his newsletter.

Listen, we all understand about cost control and minimizing the monetary commitment to younger players. And it’s not like the Angels are cheap. They are paying Vernon Wells $24 million, Josh Hamilton $17.4 million, Jered Weaver $16.2 million, and Albert Pujols $16 million this year, with the contracts for Hamilton and Pujols set to explode in the next few years.

And, of course, once Trout hits arbitration in 2015, he’s going to challenge, and almost certainly surpass, the the $8 million settlement Posey reached with the Giants in his first year of arbitration eligibility this year.

Trout’s gonna get his.

That said, couldn’t the Angels have at least doubled Trout’s salary and get him over the $1 million mark for this year, as a goodwill gesture following such a historic season? Would that have been such a painful strain on their pocketbook?

Luckily for Phils fans, this ABUSE of Mike Trout is going to play right into the hands of the Phillies in just five short years.

All we have to do is wait it out, lie in the weeds, and wait for Trout to be free of his captors and join the team he’s always wanted to play for.

So, thank you Mr. Moreno and Mr. Dipoto. We’ll be happy to take your reject player.

And, I hope you like the tulips I sent you.

Mark Trumbo, doing something Phils’ outfielders don’t do very often. A home run trot. Mandatory Credit: Peter G. Aiken-USA TODAY Sports

The Josh Hamilton dream is dead.

It was a pipe dream to begin with. Everyone knows that. The Phillies were never a serious player for his services, as evidenced by the Angels’ five-year, $125 million deal, and the Phils’ reluctance to do anything more than three years with the star-crossed slugger.

Once again, Amaro showed restraint and did the right thing. He channeled his inner-Gillick.

That’s a good thing, kiddos.

But now, the Phils are still groping for a corner outfielder that can swing a powerful piece of lumber. And with Hamilton heading to Los Angeles, the Angels all of a sudden have a surplus of outfielders on their roster.

Yet like the selfish, greedy, evil empire they are, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim insist they’re still not interested in dealing one of their pieces.

I hate them.

Of course, it’s a lie. Certainly, they’d trade one of their outfielders in exchange for the right package. And the Phillies have long had interest in Peter Bourjos, and would likely have interested in Mark Trumbo as well, should they be made available.

Vernon Wells? Um, probably not so much.

The Phils’ interest in Bourjos was hottest before their trade for the cheesesteak-loving Ben Revere, in the hopes Bourjos would be their new center fielder. However, at the time, the Angels had no interest in trading him, claiming he’d be in their starting lineup next year.

What a bunch of duplicitous liars, right guys?

Bourjos doesn’t provide the power the Phillies are seeking, posting a career OPS of just .703 with 21 HRs in 940 career plate appearances. However, he wasn’t a regular player last season for Los Angeles, is still only 26 years old, and can become a 15-20 homer guy as he continues to develop. He also has blazing speed and would provide tremendous defense in one of the corner outfield spots.

Trumbo would be a better power fit for the Phils, but would likely cost more in terms of prospects. The Angels would probably be less likely to move him as well. Trumbo had an OPS of .808 last year with 32 HRs and 95 RBIs in 586 PAs, making his first All-Star team at 26 years old.

Both players have their negatives, though. Bourjos doesn’t provide much power, and Trumbo is prone to strikeouts and prolonged slumps (he hit .202/.246/.293 in August and September).

In addition, both players cannot become free agents until 2017. As such, their price tags would be high.

Revere: .642 OPS in 989 ABs, 5 more yrs of control. Bourjos: .703 OPS in 851 ABs, 4 more yrs. Revere brought back Worley, May for #Twins.

— Ken Rosenthal (@Ken_Rosenthal) December 13, 2012

The Phils would have to come up with a package superior to the one that landed them Revere, and it’s unlikely they have the minor league talent to do it, unless they included Jesse Biddle in the package. The Angels also don’t have a catcher among their top 10 minor league prospects and are starting Chris Iannetta at the position in 2013, hardly a long-term solution. Perhaps a package of Tommy Joseph and Biddle would be enough to get the ball rolling for one of those players.

Kendrys Morales won’t be leaping on home plate anymore. Mandatory Credit: Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports

One other name to keep an eye on is rightfielder/first baseman Kendrys Morales, who may actually be the most likely to go out of anyone on the Angels’ roster. There is simply no room for him in the outfield, and with Albert Pujols manning first base, there’s no room for him, other than designated hitter.

Morales was one of the game’s rising sluggers in 2010 when he hit 34 HRs with an OPS of .924. But a freak leg injury, occurring when he jumped on home plate after hitting a game-winning grand slam that year, took him out of baseball entirely in 2011, and last year he played in just 134 games while hitting 22 HRs with an OPS of .787. He turns 30 next year and will be a free agent after the 2014 season.

And of course, there’s Vernon Wells. Wells played in just 77 games last year, turns 34 in 2013, and is owed $21 milllion in each of the next two seasons.

Yeah, let’s just move on.

It’s clear the Phillies don’t love their options on the free agent market. Nick Swisher, while a perfect fit for their needs, is looking at a four or five-year deal worth at least $10-12 million a year, which is more than the Phils are looking to pay. Signing Swisher would also require the Phillies to forfeit their #16 draft pick, something they are unlikely to do unless they can get a team-friendly deal in return.

(Interestingly enough, Nick Swisher was the #16 pick in the draft back in 2002. It’s just a little piece of trivia to share with your friends. Moving on.)

Cody Ross may not get as much money as Swisher, but he’ll still probably score a contract that surpasses his actual value. Signing him would not require a draft pick, however.

And of course, there is the looming specter of Alfonso Soriano lurking in the shadows, like a common street thug ready to mug you as you walk around the corner. Interest seems to have cooled at the moment, but could always heat up as spring training draws nigh.

The Angels, who are hoarding outfielders like that crazy old lady down the street hoards neighborhood cats, have a surplus of something the Phillies need.

Angels going with an outfield of all center fielders. Reds going with an outfield of no center fielders.

— High Cheese (@HighCheese) December 14, 2012

Would a deal that centers around some combination of Biddle, Joseph and Dom Brown be enough to land Bourjos, Trumbo or Morales?

And what do the Phillies value more right now? Payroll flexibility? Protecting that #16 pick? Or protecting the minor league talent they already have?

Regardless, the Angels are going to move someone, right?

Come on, L.A. Don’t be so selfish. It’s nice to share.

Be nice for once.

But if a pitching coach like Rich Dubee’s using it, chances are, he’s very pleased.  And I don’t know if you’ve ever seen Rich Dubee smile before, but I sure haven’t, so let’s count our blessings and be glad he’s not giving anybody that low-brimmed death-gaze he uses to turn people into pillars of salt.

“Natural sink” is exactly what Dubee likes about 24-year-old righty David Herndon this spring.  Terrific news, of course, but it does leave one seemingly critical question lying out in the open.

Who in the hell is David Herndon?

MY INTERPRETATION OF THIS PHOTO: Those two guys are coming to have a "chat" with Herndon for punching #9 there in the stomach just seconds before.

He’s not a product of the Phillies farm system, hooked into the spotlight because of the mad dash of young talent to other clubs in the past year.  He’s not a grizzled veteran with one last fight in him or a foreign import looking to prove his scouting report was non fiction.  He’s not just looking for an in to be the next guy in the Phanatic suit.

He’s David Herndon, baseball player.  He’s just not from around here.

“I feel like a lost dog,” he explains.

Oh.  Okay.

Herndon’s been spiraling in and out of some minor league clubs out west (Cedar Rapids, Orem, Rancho Cucamonga, and the like), deep in the grasp of the Los Angeles Angels. More or less, he’s on loan to the Phils through his Rule 5 status this spring to see if we can get some use out of him (though when it comes to our bullpen right now, the deeper the better.  I do not feel like walking into the late innings of 2010 without a lot of options in our back pocket,  so when it comes to signing relievers, I say pile ‘um on).  If he’s not signing on the dotted line for the 25-man roster, it’s back to the Angels with him.

But according to Dubee, the guy’s not going to be easy to get rid of.  Sort of like a lost dog–oh, now I get it.

What Dubee’s calling a “very good sinker,” (he’s such a damn wordsmith it brings tears to my eyes) is responsible for making the equipment manager’s job all the more annoying.

“He broke a number of bats,” Dubee went on.  ”He also had a better slider than I anticipated and he had good action on his fastball.”

If only it were as simple as “baseball.”  But, like I said, Herndon and his awesome moving pitches might, thanks to the business end of baseball, be back in L.A. by the end of Spring Training.  I’ve given up on trying to fathom some of the ridiculousness of the inner workings of MLB’s offseason.  Herndon agrees with me:

“I don’t understand all of it myself.”

Heh, heh.  I like this guy.  He’s got a heavy sinker, a developing slider, and a shifty fastball.  There may not be a whole lot of room left in the bullpen, but there’s a reason they’re looking at him and giving him compliments.

“DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MIRACULOUS IT IS THAT ALL THIS EQUIPMENT EVEN GOT DOWN HERE?!” screamed an equipment manager while picking up the broken pieces of another bat and sobbing.