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	<title>That Balls Outta Here &#187; lead off</title>
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		<title>Your Denial Will be Unnecessary as Shane Victorino is Just Fine</title>
		<link>http://thatballsouttahere.com/2011/04/03/your-panicked-denial-will-be-unnecessary-as-shane-victorino-is-just-fine/</link>
		<comments>http://thatballsouttahere.com/2011/04/03/your-panicked-denial-will-be-unnecessary-as-shane-victorino-is-just-fine/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 03 Apr 2011 17:40:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Justin Klugh</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[PHI Phillies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lead off]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lineup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[michael martinez]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Phillies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shane victorino]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thatballsouttahere.com/?p=4875</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[And now for some unprovoked melodrama.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>When the game starts in five minutes, <a href="http://zozone.mlblogs.com/2011/04/03/victorino-out-martinez-in/">Michael Martinez is leading off</a>.  Where is Shane Victorino, you may ask?  He&#8217;s gone.  They came back to the clubhouse last night and his packed bags were by the door.</p>
<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m leaving,&#8221; he said.  &#8221;I can&#8217;t drag this out anymore.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Fine, whatever,&#8221; said the Phillies, pouring themselves a drink.  They&#8217;d crammed all their feelings into a whiskey bottle years ago.</p>
<p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t you have anything to say to me?&#8221;</p>
<p>The Phillies sipped quietly from their glass and stared daggers down the side.  &#8221;You know where the door is.  You&#8217;ve been looking at it for months.&#8221;</p>
<p>Shane shook his head and grabbed his luggage.  &#8221;Unbelievable.  I hope you and your rampaging alcoholism are happy together.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Oh, WE WILL BE!&#8221; the Phillies shrieked, flipping over the mini bar.  But when they looked to up to witness Shane&#8217;s reaction, he was gone.  Just the quiet sound of the clubhouse door wagging back and forth had remained behind.</p>
<p>The Phillies eyed the mess on the floor.  Someone was going to have to clean this up.  They picked up the phone and dialed an unfamiliar number.</p>
<p>&#8220;Hello, Michael?  Sorry its so late.  But today&#8217;s <a href="http://twitpic.com/4gl4b1">your lucky day</a>.&#8221;</p>
<p>In other news, Shane Victorino&#8217;s calf felt weird so he&#8217;s out today.  He says he expects to be back Tuesday, but it could be an &#8220;irritated nerve,&#8221; and who the hell knows what that is, so we&#8217;ll see.</p>
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