That Balls Outta Here » larry greene

Most Other Phillies Draft Picks Realize What’s Good for Them

Justin Klugh — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 17:19:28 +0000

I once had a dream I sat across from Ruben Amaro at a negotiation.

We were deciding on a contract extension. In my early twenties and with no discernible skills, I was naturally demanding five more years, $10 million each, with a no-trade clause. Ruben said the clause was unnecessary because nobody would want me anyway. He told me he didn’t even know what position I played.

I suddenly couldn’t recall either, and just tried to gloss over the absence of any leverage by laughing hysterically. This was going perfectly. (more…)

Draft Pick Larry Greene Signed; Becomes Instant Trade Bait

Justin Klugh — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 17:05:16 +0000

The Phillies have a long history of drafting young talent from the bouncing green hills of the surrounding Philadelphia countryside. For instance, last year’s Jesse Biddle. And others.

This year, however, they snatched a 6′ 5″ giant named Larry Greene from Georgia, which we can only assume is a slight to the Braves. MLB analysts said Larry was “The best high school power in the draft” and that he has “experience emotion,” two things that will play very well in Philadelphia. (more…)

Larry Greene is Your Next Player to be Constantly Compared to Ryan Howard

Justin Klugh — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 15:10:26 +0000

Hello, Larry Greene! Welcome to the next phase of your baseball-playing career. Why, if you’re lucky, you could have an illustrious life in a Phillies uniform, followed by several years of fiery downspiraling until your life is a series of ever-weakening punchlines smeared across the internet.

Will you be a legend? A bust? We all get to find out, and we get to do it together, over the next few years. LOL, internet!

Isn’t this fun?!

The correct answer is "...not for you."

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