That Balls Outta Here » knee

Ruben Amaro Doubts Strength of Chase Utley; Gets Intense Headache

Justin Klugh — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 14:00:11 +0000

I don’t like to talk poorly about Chase Utley, partially because I’m an insufferable homer, and partially because I feel like he can hear me and he’s so darn mean I worry he’ll crash through my bedroom window and drag me screaming into the night.

So this is just another indication of how powerful, emotionless, and infallible Ruben Amaro considers himself.

“I think part of it is [Utley's] inability to keep his leg strong during the course of this time. He wasn’t able to do as many things with his legs, which is probably the most important part of hitting, strength-wise. I think that has something to do with it… He wasn’t producing with the power he has. I think it has something to do with the strength of his lower half.”

–Ruben Amaro

I haven’t heard so much dialogue about Chase Utley’s lower half since I saw a bachelorette party stumbling out of McFadden’s. (more…)

Jimmy Rollins Refuses to Provide Us Every F*cking Injury Detail We Want

Justin Klugh — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 16:00:05 +0000

Wilson Valdez celebrated his return to the Phillies lineup yesterday in place of “injured” Jimmy Rollins by doing what he does best with a bat: ruining everything.

So naturally, the press corps turned their attention toward demanding answers from Jimmy Rollins, whose limps in the clubhouse were apparently so well-rehearsed, none of the reporters could figure out if he was faking it or not.

After fouling a ball off his knee, Jimmy described the pain as bad enough to have him begging for the ball not to be hit to him by the third inning, which any doctor will tell you is excellent news for a player who everyone wants to keep playing. (more…)

Nobody Should Vote for Chase Utley to Make the All-Star Team

Justin Klugh — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 16:01:09 +0000

Early reports indicate that despite being a despondent man in a windbreaker for most of the year, Chase Utley could be voted onto the NL All-Star team.

I don’t even understand why this is a good thing. Chase doesn’t care about All-Star Games. Chase cares about the ball bouncing in front of him and whether he is within reach to perform a classic awesome stop or not. He cares about the cringe on the opposing pitcher’s twitching face when he realizes he missed his spot by just enough that Chase Utley has guaranteed that baseball will never see its family again. (more…)