Citizens Bank Park is where romances are born; between a team and a city; between a recently-engaged couple on the big screen; between a young man, his decision to continuously guzzle Wild Turkey on Dollar Dog Night and a trashcan.  It’s a place that brings perfect parts together into a single, heart-shaped whole.

So why can’t it be the place you meet next year’s valentine?  Here are some tips on how to finally break the ice with any young lass whose willing to give you the time of day.

[EDITOR'S NOTE:  These are god awful.] (more…)

"DAMN YOU, CAPTAIN BLANTON!"

Except they’d have to do it 24 more times to match Joe Blanton.

The big guy found himself in trouble with runners on base last night, but every time I looked up, he was walking off the field, wiping his brow, with the little “Who’s on base?” indicator at the top of the screen mostly/completely full.  Joe was getting in some in trouble, but getting out of it pretty effectively.

And he had the six scoreless innings to prove it.

The man doesn’t shit around out there, even when he’s not “overly dominant,” he’s working hard to right himself.  We’ve seen a lot of pitchers this year go down a dark path this season and never come back, but there Joe was last night, hacking through the thorny branches and tangled leaves of pitching mistakes with a machete until he saw the light again.

Dude’s a fighter.

A double steal (that worked this time) and a grand slam later, and the comments on Phillies blog threads are acting like the previous weeks’ “throw your arms in the air and run through the streets screaming, for the end is nigh,” attitude was just a big joke.

“I would love to pass LA before this is over,” someone posted on the Phillies website.

Last week.

Today.

Ha, ha, ha.  What?

All you could find last week were congratulatory messages to the Marlins and Braves, “2009 NL East champs.”   Now we’ve got the stones to take down the Dodgers?

Not that we couldn’t, but we weren’t playing A+ baseball for awhile there.  Taking down the Nats and surpassing LA are two completely different things, mind you, even though the Boys in Blue have been showcasing their own little downward spiral for a while.

But, it’s just like us to assume the worst, in hopes of being pleasantly surprised, and then being the cocks of the walk when the offense and pitching come alive.

I mean, haven’t you ever read this blog?

No.  Probably not.

Images courtesy of http://blog.pumapac.org, http://mitheral.ca, and http://www.smh.com.au