That Balls Outta Here » Jonathan Singleton

Jonathan Singleton Picks Absolute Worst Day to put ‘Banned Substances’ in Headlines

Justin Klugh — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 14:11:33 +0000

Just when you thought we’d seen the last person who was never going to get into the Hall of Fame’s name today, the Astros’ farm system produces another one.

“Great swing, power hitter, HIPPIE.” –scouting report H. Darr Beiser-USA TODAY Sports via USA TODAY Sports

What’s that? It’s former Ryan Howard-in-waiting Jonathan Singleton? Give me that.

**Snatches newspaper out of your hands, skips over article by BBWAA writer column entitled ‘”The Important Thing is We Won”**

Well, I hardly see how spending most of his career in our farm system would be a relate-able factor to a… 50 game suspension?! For marijuana?

**Rustles newspaper irritably, hurls it at passing bus**

So now we get to wonder, on the day that deep thoughts are enough to keep people out of Cooperstown, whether or not Jonathan Singleton and his amazing career that he will have now that he’s been traded for Hunter Pence, an outfielder who also doesn’t play for us anymore, will get to go into the Hall of Fame because of performance enhancing drugs (the performance in this case being eating his body weight in cereal).

As usual, there were plenty of good points made on drug use, nonsensical policies, and forced rhymes to “Cooperstown.”

A professional baseball player just lost 1/3 of a season for smoking marijuana. If he played for the Mariners or Rockies, still suspended?

— Patrick Winters (@BaseNarcissist) January 10, 2013

This Jon Singleton talk reminds me of when Miguel Cabrera got suspended following his DUI arrest. Oh, wait.

— Dash Treyhorn (@DashTreyhorn) January 9, 2013

“Cooperstown, more like Pooperstown.” Reaction to the MLB HoF voting, from @tbohblog: is.gd/T5Rzxi (c/g @petzrawr)

— Matt Mullin (@matt_mullin) January 9, 2013

Since leaving the Phillies organization, Singleton has gone 3-for-4 in the 2012 All-Star Futures game and been ranked as the #2 Astros prospect by Keith Law and started hanging out with those tough-looking neighborhood kids who go to the public school.

Clearwater Threshers Make up for Awful Reading Phillies by Being Great

Justin Klugh — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 15:00:05 +0000

Recently, we discussed the challenges of playing baseball in front of people who love you. This issue seems to be at the core of the Reading Phillies gross ineptitude; so much so that manager Mark Parent was forced to explain that it was why the team will do better on the road. (more…)

Phillies Hope for More Offense by Confusing Teenager

Justin Klugh — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 13:53:13 +0000

As one of those Phillies prospects you actually hear about, Jonathan Singleton has a lot on his plate, and not just when he hijacks the buffet line on Sunday mornings. He’s our top position nugget, but the trick is nailing down what position the 19-year-old is going to play.

He started at first base, where his path to the Majors was stonewalled by Ryan Howard. So they shoved him into left, where he was “pressing” and his production started to slip. Now, he’s back at home next to the right field foul line, where Phillies management will assume he won’t even remember he left.

*Claps hands together to express sense of finality on the matter.*

So that’s that.

*Sits down, reads newspaper.* (more…)