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John Mayberry Naturally Attracting Attention of Greatest Baseball Franchise in League History
Look, we all know John Mayberry. UPDATE, 12:48 PM: The Yankees, clearly drunk, have called in Al Roker to handle third base. We were there for #stayberry, #yayberry, #regressionberry, and #shitberry.…Read More
John Mayberry Suffering through Dense Layer of Psychological Denial
John Mayberry, the Phillies’ tallest outfielding option going into 2013, is reportedly suffering from a horrific level of denial and dementia, according to the team’s web site. The Phillies…Read More
Phillies Confirm That They Will Hire Someone to Play Center Field in 2013
New player to be strategically placed somewhere between right and left fielders We have reached the point of the year when the Phillies’ lead protagonist stops being the players on the lineup card…Read More
Phillies Web Site Laughably Requests All-Star Votes for Non-Pitchers
I don’t know if this is obvious, but the Philadelphia Phillies are my favorite professional baseball team. Even if the players are bad, I want them to get better. So when it comes to All-Star ballots,…Read More
Phillies Best Case/Worst Case: Outfield
Last week, we examined the possible best case and worst case scenarios for the four starters of the Phillies infield. What we discovered is that the best case scenario would all but guarantee the Phillies…Read More
And more..
John Mayberry Sees Mermaid; Orders Her Brought to Him
We can’t pretend to understand the tangled web of intrigue that is celebrity life, but when we…Read More
Raul Ibanez Uses Time Off to Increase Groin-Power
The human groin is the strongest muscle in nature. At least, it has the potential to be. Like any…Read More
Phillies Release ‘It Gets Better’ Video to Maintain Tradition of <3<3<3
How could the Phillies 2011 season get better? Maybe is Roy Oswalt was consistently sharp and Ryan…Read More
Phillie Phanatic Goes on Rampage Through Philadelphia Airport
The Phillie Phanatic escaped from his handlers the other day and ran rampant through the Philadelphia…Read More
Ross Gload Declares Ross Gload-Mating Season Over
The Phillies and baseball gods thought it best to trample John Mayberry’s emotions the other day;…Read More
Raul Ibanez is No Julio Franco
I’m not mad at Raul. I certainly would be if were losing a lot. Or probably if we didn’t…Read More
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