That Balls Outta Here » john bowker

Oswalt Left in Too Long as Nationals Secure Sweep

Fri, 23 Sep 2011 01:48:36 +0000

Remember that surly old man in your head that I talked about in an earlier post? Well, he is starting to get louder. Maybe he is drunk, or maybe, just maybe he is watching these shitstorms along with us. Based his whiskey tainted gravel voiced shouting, he is certainly watching the Phillies get swept by the Nationals franchise for the first time in history.

This one is another shut out by some random pitcher that no one has ever heard of. The Phillies offense managed two hits off of Brad Peacock. This is getting a little old. It would stand to reason that even John Bowker or Pete Orr could get a hit off of some AAA guy, I mean, they are triple A players too. But apparently, this rationale did not equate to any sort of offensive production.

The positive from tonight was Roy Oswalt. His final line doesn’t look great, he ended up being charged with six earned runs, but actually sitting through this awful baseball game he was hampered by bad defense and was left in one inning too long. His fastball reached 94 and he looked pain free in yet another start.

Bad defense, no hitting and John Bowker in the starting line-up. I think people who paid to attend this game should get a refund. The Phllies finally scored a run in the ninth off of fat ass Todd Coffey.

Tomorrow the Phillies travel to New York to face the Mets. Here is where the Phillies start to set up their postseason rotation and we all pray that Howard and Pence get healthy enough to return.

Charlie Manuel Trying to Get Bowker More Strikeout Opportunities

Justin Klugh — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 16:00:01 +0000

John Bowker was our big name, late-August acquisition from the alley where he was trying to sell “used pizza.” Ruben Amaro saw the outfielder (?) as a chance to add depth to our left-handed strikeouts off the bench. And since joining the club, Bowker has come through in spades.

“Who even is John Bowker?” you ask, ignorantly. Well, I just told you. Yes, I’m going to pretend the joke-truth is the real truth in this post, instead of joking around at the beginning and then clearing things up with some smarmy-mouthed facts after the introductory paragraph. It’s that kind of morning. A joke-filled one. (more…)

Ross Gload Concerned as Phillies Acquire Slow-Moving Bench Player

Justin Klugh — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 11:50:48 +0000

Ross Gload’s job security came into question yesterday when the Phillies signed a somewhat younger guy whose functions include playing first base and outfield, hitting left-handed, and moving around with the agility of an outdated kitchen appliance.

28-year-old John Bowker, who has performed these tasks for the Giants and Pirates in the past, will serve as the likely replacement for Gload, whose base running has been accompanied by a haunting, mechanical sound that opposing infielders have described as “…just awful; like a bag screws in a dryer.” (more…)