Or will he move more and more of his belongings into the basement until the majority of his belongings are down there and neighborhood pets start disappearing, all while the other kids grow up and leave town and everyone wonders “Whatever happened to that Peterson boy, he was always a little ‘off’?”

This man is not a serial killer.

Go Flyers!

(more…)

First Castro, then Schneider, and now Placido Polcano are quickly filling the gaps left by Ruben Amaro’s offseason general managing.

All right, just...just calm down, there.

Polanco gives us what we can only hope is an offensive boost as well as solid defense.  No doubt, his position has been the Achilles Heel of the team for a few years, not to make Pedro Feliz feel like an asshole.  But to be able to expect some sort of offensive production from every part of the lineup goes a long way, especially when faced with opposing lineups that grab hold of your hole and rip it wide open with both hands.

Um, ew.

Yes, Polanco is now the Phillies starting third baseman.  He’s no Chone Figgins, but this past postseason showed that Chone Figgins isn’t always Chone Figgins when you need him to be.

I like it.  A former Phillie, a first class defender, and a solid hitter.  With the wad of bills in Amaro’s hand getting smaller and smaller, he’ll be a lot for a little.  A “little” being $18 million for three years.

Got a bench.  Got a third baseman.  Now it’s onto that nasty little bullpen.

Ha, ha. It's funny because it's not Brad Lidge.

J.J. Putz?!  Okay, sure.  The guy had a disappointing season, but if you want to talk about disappointing seasons… I mean, go right ahead.  But when Brad Lidge walks in here, everybody stop talking and look at either him or the ground.

Putz’s “disappointments” ended with a 5.22 ERA, so I looked up Lidge’s 2009 ERA and ERMMFFFFfffff…

Punched in the stomach.  7.21?  0-8?!  I forgot about how bad those numbers looked.

Assuming the 2008 miracle man turns it around (And I mean, come on.  He will.), having Putz around would be a great alternative in case Lidge starts equalizing himself again.  But the question is, is Putz attainable?  Important dates are whizzing by and players’ signatures are popping on contracts all over the organization.  This isn’t New York; Ruben can’t just go to the nearest bathroom and yank a couple thousand Ben Franklins off the toilet paper roll.

Not to mention Putz is blipping on a few other radars in Houston and Pittsburgh.

Hey!  We got a third baseman!  Everybody relax.

A+ headline.  F- comments.

I'M MELTING, I'M MEL--give me a break, it's late.

Polanco fits the need for superb defense, existent offense, and a price tag that won’t make anybody’s eyes bug out cartoonishly.

He’s got two Gold Gloves (for second base), so clearly he can handle himself on the field in a way that rivals Pedro Feliz. The big improvement is the offensive production.  But if numbers are to be taken into consideration (And this is baseball, so why would that happen?), Polanco’s .348 OBP compared to Feliz’s .296 means we will have to settle for merely a “marginal” improvement (And they’re the same age! Wacky).

The talks of a three year deal to move Polanco to third (where he played for the Phils 2002-05) came just in time, as other clubs are beginning to sniff the air.

With his bench falling into place (Highlight “Bruntlett,” press “delete”) and a third baseman in the crosshairs, Ruben Amaro’s next moves will surely be revolving around his need to re-work the bullpen.  J.J. Putz is the name you’ll hear the most regarding that scenario currently.

Speaking of ex-Phillies; Good luck, the state of Texas.