Jack McCaffery, an emotional gentleman armed with a keyboard, recently penned a column instructing you to enjoy your precious Phillies, because very soon, we’ll all be dead.  It was clearly an attempt to capitalize on an overly grim mindset to get people clicking links (OBVIOUSLY HE FAILED, AS I DEDICATE AN ENTIRE POST TO HIM), and in that vein, McCaffery nailed it.

He comes quite across as the emo kid in class, slouching in the back row with his arms crossed and staring hopelessly into the distance, because how bleak is life and his step mom packed the wrong kind of lunch meat and Ryan Howard had a minor hand strain so game over man game over. (more…)

“As absurd as it might seem, it could be argued that Martinez represents an upgrade over the currently limited and injured Polanco, especially given his production, or lack thereof, since the start of May. ”

–Philly Sports Daily

Well I guess that’s not really an arguable point.  Except for some rare cases, an uninjured reserve is probably going to play better than a wounded starter.  Sure, Chase Utley would have played with one of his legs propped on up a tricycle, and we would have loved to have seen him do it, but after the 11th or 12 th consecutive bunt toward second base, no one would be blamed for screaming for Wilson Valdez.

Just as we were getting used to seeing viable threats up and down the lineup, poor Polly goes down a second time, furthering the notion that age has something to do with playing baseball–which the furious collisions and and spirited horseplay in my father’s 50+ league seem to indicate it does not.  

MRIs for everyone!

“… it seems doubtful the veteran is going to have the time to return to starting-pitcher form this season even if his elbow recovers in time to avoid a collision-course with an operating table.”

What Dennis Deitch was trying to say, while invoking the image of poor Joe Blanton getting pulverized by a cold metal piece of furniture, was that Joe may not be seeing his name in a box score for the rest of the season due to what Scott Profrock called a “hiccup” in his back.  Which sounds disgusting.  I hope his body is still in a single piece.

Don’t act like you care. (more…)