injury

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South Jersey Writer is Truly Horrified of Phillies’ Future

The Phillies are old!  The Phillies are injured!  The Phillies are ticking time bombs, about to spew incompetence and hand injuries all over the diamond!  Global warming!  Genocide!  My parents bought…Read More

Placido Polanco Celebrates Week off DL with Possible DL trip

“As absurd as it might seem, it could be argued that Martinez represents an upgrade over the currently limited and injured Polanco, especially given his production, or lack thereof, since the start…Read More

Maybe Pretend to Care Joe Blanton Could be Out for the Season

“… it seems doubtful the veteran is going to have the time to return to starting-pitcher form this season even if his elbow recovers in time to avoid a collision-course with an operating table.” What…Read More

Philadelphia Succeeds in Voting Injured Player to All-Star Team

“Vote for me, Shane Victorino, for the All-Star team,” Shane told us, speaking directly into the camera. “Okay!” we shouted back at our televisions.  Then, we ran to the internet,…Read More

Brian Schneider Hopefully Successful in Avoiding Insanity

“I’m here now to stay sane and run around and take batting practice and do whatever they need to see me do. I’m ready to get back out there.” Well, you heard him.  Brian is spending…Read More

And more..

Brad Lidge Still Not Here, in Case You Noticed

Phillies pitcher Brad Lidge developed discomfort in his throwing elbow after a bullpen session on Monday…Read More

Jimmy Rollins Refuses to Provide Us Every F*cking Injury Detail We Want

Wilson Valdez celebrated his return to the Phillies lineup yesterday in place of “injured”…Read More

Chase Utley Being Sent Away to Live With Another Family

“It might be time to let him go somewhere, like Clearwater or something.” –Charlie…Read More

All of the Sudden Injured Phillies Are Doing Things

The Phillies have decided that Domonic Brown has been shattering the confidence of Single-A pitchers…Read More

Epidemic of Vague Mysterious Injuries Continues with Joe Blanton

From an outsider’s perspective, this year, the Phillies have gone from a franchise spending its…Read More

Nobody Should Vote for Chase Utley to Make the All-Star Team

Early reports indicate that despite being a despondent man in a windbreaker for most of the year, Chase…Read More

Ruben Amaro Provides Us with Further No Utley News

“I am hopeful.  I don’t know if it’s going to happen, but I’m hopeful. I can…Read More

Jose Contreras is Also Now Dead

Jose Contreras and his strained flexor pronator tendon in his right elbow are joining Brad Lidge in closer-heaven. In…Read More

Oswalt Injured as Bullpen Coughs Up Lead

Bad bullpen.  Inconsistent line-up.  These are the two major concerns that have sent the baseball pundits…Read More

Chase Utley is Getting Better Seriously This Time

Or… is he… ? No.  So, once again, I’ve been tricked by a headline; but I already clicked…Read More

Brad Lidge Still Okay, Understands Why You Asked

Is there a greater test of man than facing off against the brute force of the Pittsburgh Pirates minor…Read More

Who Knows What Brad Lidge’s “Bicep Soreness” Actually Is

So we discovered several days back that Ruben is celebrating his new deal with a healthy dosage of secrets…Read More

Chase Utley and Domonic Brown Soon to be Surgery Buddies

Does it even count as “baseball” if Chase Utley isn’t playing it?  No.  The answer…Read More

Chase Utley For Some Reason Not Healed Immediately

Ruben is telling us that he’s no going to so sorting through the scrap heap or leaving seductive…Read More

The Resume of Jamie Moyer

Apparently, it’s a recession, and that is why those of us who are unemployed are having a hard…Read More