That Balls Outta Here » injured

Hamels Time: Phils Avoid Sweep in 9-3 Win

Mon, 07 May 2012 04:35:09 +0000

Maybe they couldn't hit him because there are three of him. Mark J. Rebilas-US PRESSWIRE

The whole catching up to the team that is in first place in the division by beating them things has not worked out too well thus far for the Phillies in this series. Luckily, the Phillies get to send out Cole Hamels in the series finale to attempt to save some face. They did.

Cole Hamels looks like he is going to be really damn expensive if the Phillies can’t lock him up before he reaches free agency. After accidentally hitting Bryce Harper with a pitch in the bottom of the first and watching him steal home on a lazy pick off throw to first, Cole didn’t allow another run. (more…)

Secret Injured Phillies Club Gains Further Membership

Justin Klugh — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 12:29:18 +0000

Chase Utley, Brad Lidge, and Domonic Brown are sitting in a dark room playing poker in complete silence. J.C. Romero stumbles in, confused.

Romero: Wha… what is this? Where am I?

Chase shoves all of his chips into the middle of the table.

Chase: All in.

Brad shakes his head.

Brad: Why do you make us do this?

Chase stares at him without blinking for a full 30 seconds. Brad sighs and throws his cards on the table. Chase turns to Dom.

Dom: I don’t understand what’s happening.

Wordlessly, Chase takes all of the chips and begins shuffling the cards.

Romero: Seriously, where am I?

Brad: Oh, hey, J.C.! Welcome! You’re in the weird dark room that injured Phillies hang out in. Chase has been making us play poker for 36 straight hours. Please, pull up a chair. (more…)

Chase Utley Action Figure Hopefully as Good as Real Chase

Justin Klugh — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 14:56:04 +0000

Nights like last night require a certain bit of delusion in order to maintain happiness. Was I happy that the Phillies lost and made Livian Hernandez look like a genius in the process, probably sending him out on the greatest celebratory man-purse shopping binge the world has ever seen? Of course not. I even temporarily reversed everything I said about Jayson Werth yesterday when I realized he was doing, like, good. I’m not going to compliment you if you’re going to play well, Jayson. That doesn’t make any sense.

Fortunately, delusion is a craft that is often supported by art. Was “craft” the right noun to use there? I don’t think it was. However, I will delude myself into assuming it was and move right along. Blogging! (more…)