When reached for comment, "Captain" looked up piteously and wished he was dead.

Phillies Phever hit hard this past week, with the returning chance making another trip to the World Series, but nowhere did it hit harder than the home of “Captain,” a large black house cat, “prone to hissy-fits.”

“I just love the Phillies so much,” Captain’s owner explained.  ”I feel like there isn’t a better way to express true fandom than through a cat.”

“Um, yeah, that’s troubling,” replied Dr. Matthew Kendry, a feline psychologist, squinting in confusion at the photo. “That’s a lot more indicative of a person in need of therapy than a cat who likes a baseball team.”

“Look at his eyes.  They’re pretty much begging for death.”

These theories by Dr. Kendry directly contradict the sign behind Captain in the photo.  ”‘#1 Fan’ is a concept a cat would never be able to understand.  This is an animal that tries to please you by bringing you the heads of its enemies.  If that cat truly is the Philadelphia Phillies #1 fan, I’d say there are some real issues with Philadelphia’s fans.“

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