That Balls Outta Here » Heath Bell

Series 6-Pack: “I told you nobody was paying attention.”

Justin Klugh — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 16:00:17 +0000

The last time we played the Padres, I was sitting comfortably on a couch in North Carolina, watching the Phillies play slightly better offense than offenseless San Diego. These days, nothing has changed, except that the Phillies now want to trade for every player on the Padres’ roster. Ernie Padaon of Chicken Friars was kind enough to shed some light on any other differences and also said I can crash with him if I’m ever in SD, so we’re cool.

1. ZOMG Hugh Jackman just announced at San Diego Comic-Con that the villain in Wolverine 2 will be Silver Samurai! Will anyone be paying attention to the Padres with this news hitting the populace?

We stopped paying attention just before the All-Star Break. The Friar Faithful are the only ones sticking around, but that just leaves about 7 of us. The rest of us are out at the beaches getting a nice tan and surfing.

They will be back on the bandwagon at the start of next season when we are tied with everyone again. (more…)

Philthy Traders: The Deadline Looms

Justin Klugh — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 00:29:21 +0000

Well, here we are , my little chickadees.

Ticks from a trade deadline that could wash a wave of hope over this season, and rinse off the gritty layer of toxic grime festering on our precious Phillies.

EWWWWWWWWW

Theoretically.

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Jesse Biddle Selected To Play In Front of Vomiteurs, Taserings, and Drunk Children; Phillies Lose Again

Justin Klugh — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 04:22:02 +0000

It was 1994, and Major League Baseball was crippled by a players’ strike. Four giant chunks of the Kingdome in Seattle just sort of fell off. And Physicist Deepak Chopra finished a book about human nature, and how an understanding of our role in the natural world was the key to success, rather than the hard work and dedication many believed.

It was called “The Seven Spiritual Laws To Success,” and for the last few days, it has been at arm’s length of Jesse Biddle, who, while possibly attending Oregon University, has been sitting anxiously by the phone, waiting to hear from the Brewers, or the Braves, or better yet, the team that’s been winning and losing–mainly losing–on his TV since he was a child: The Phillies.

The same hard work and dedication that taught him to play Paddy Cake.

And so, the nerves of his 6′-5″, 235 pound frame most likely wracked, he watched as with all the fervor and enthusiasm of a man who has just died in his sleep, Bud Selig strolled to the front of the room and uttered into the microphone:

“With the 27th pick, the Philadelphia Phillies select Jesse Biddle, left handed pitcher from the Germantown Friends School.”

Biddle’s roll in nature just got a little bigger.

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