On break from his job as “Guy on Broad Street in Plastic Bicycle Helmet with Sad-Looking Dog and Sign Warning of Apocalypse,” Fitzpatrick has done Philadelphia another service by letting us know we’ve been duped.

That Cliff Lee shirsey you’re wearing?  Yeah.  You’re only wearing it because the Phillies wanted you to.  Open your eyes man. (more…)

It is years from now.  The players are gone.  The crowds are gone.  Citizens Bank Park has become, as well suspected and feared, a haunted carnival.  A monstrous Danys Baez lives somewhere underneath the ruins of the right field bleachers, terrorizing trespassers with his horrific tales what seemed at times to be truly endless inadequacies.

What has happened here, in the former home of joy, where red pinstripes once paraded down Broad Street, and the Phanatic tried to get us all to second base?  What apocalypse of enthusiasm has brought us this bitter grey skyline, backdropping the shambles of a dynasty built on victory and open mockery?

The answer:  A matter of time.  If we’re not careful, Philly’s gonna get Cleveland’d.

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