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Phillies Ask that You Please Acknowledge Joe Blanton’s Return
Also Kyle Kendrick was Gone Apparently Months ago, Joe Blanton sat at a press conference, being heartily ignored. When he was acknowledged, it was only so that the media could forget he has a World Series…Read More
Phillies Medical Staff Finally Admits They Have No Idea What’s Wrong with Brad Lidge
Phillies closer Brad Lidge has been on the disabled list since he was 14 years old. Reminders of his existence and rehab are often fed to the media to keep alive the hope of his inevitable return. As…Read More
Epidemic of Vague Mysterious Injuries Continues with Joe Blanton
From an outsider’s perspective, this year, the Phillies have gone from a franchise spending its newfound wheelbarrows of money on some of the best talent in the game to a club willing to test the…Read More
Ruben Amaro Provides Us with Further No Utley News
“I am hopeful. I don’t know if it’s going to happen, but I’m hopeful. I can only hope.” –Ruben Amaro Ruben Amaro is full of hope, putting to bed our previous theory…Read More
Jose Contreras is Also Now Dead
Jose Contreras and his strained flexor pronator tendon in his right elbow are joining Brad Lidge in closer-heaven. In celebration of the second Phillies closer to hit the DL this season, the Phillies have…Read More
And more..
Secret Injured Phillies Club Gains Further Membership
Chase Utley, Brad Lidge, and Domonic Brown are sitting in a dark room playing poker in complete silence.…Read More
Chase Utley Permitted to Do a Knee-Related Thing
The Phillies have taken it easy on Chase, going against my advice to force him to run laps around the…Read More
In Unprecedented Move, Phillies Continue Assigning Roles to Players
Jose Contreras will be closing instead of Brad Lidge, who can’t be bothered to be available on…Read More
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