Wait, Brian Matusz, the Phillies were in the World Seri--"I DO NOT CARE."

I don’t want to talk about what Brian Matusz did to us yesterday (No-hitter through 5 1/3?!).  When people ask, just tell them we walked into a door knob.

So, this afternoon was going to counteract yesterday’s total erasing at the hands of Matusz and the O’s with some good old fashioned “Hi-I’m-Roy Halladay-and-this-is-what-it’s-like-to-die.”

Nope.

The Tigers pounded six hits and three runs off Doc, garnishing them with a pair of walks. The scoring was quarantined to the second inning, and Halladay managed to slap out an infield single to make everybody go”Awwww,” so the day wasn’t a total loss, except for the part where we, you know, lost.  The baseball game.

Jim Leyland opted for a “bullpen day” on the other side of the field, content to start and continue only using his relief pitchers, and he seemed to know what he was doing, because everyone of them managed to quell the Phillies bats, starting with Fu-Te Ni and ending with a three-run shut out.  Roommate felt that it was obvious the Phillies “just didn’t care today.”

Which I had to check and make sure for myself, because remember, this is the same Roommate who habitually attempts to convince me Jamie Moyer is dead.  Or that the Phillies have done something like acquire Huston Street, like he did yesterday (“I had to switch to something more believable for once”).

Just a cacophony of falsehoods around here.

Speaking of Jamie Moyer being alive, Moyer will be alive on the mound tomorrow at 1:05 as the Phillies shake off their previous loss to the Orioles that may as well have ended with a police report.

When the time comes, is DeWayne Wise going to be able to look back on his career and see anything but that catch that saved Mark Buerhle’s perfect game?  Not if every sportscaster everywhere has anything to say about it.  He’s going to have to do something pretty special to avoid being forever pigeon-holed as “that guy who caught that ball.”  So, expect to see DeWayne Wise moving solely via cartwheels or catching a baseball and eating it to try and outshadow his own miraculous, isolated play.

And lastly, a special thanks to Yahoo, who locked me out of my account during the draft of my fantasy league.  The result?  I wound up with auto-drafts like Justin Verlander, Matt Wieters, David Ortiz, Adam Lind, Chris Coghlan, and Mariano Rivera.

Why this is terrible?  It’s a Razzball league; the goal is to be the most god-awful team.

I can’t even win when I’m trying to lose.  Except at Phillies blog brackets! Ha, ha. Sweet.

Those pesky torn muscles Moyer suffered through apparently went through a bit of a flare-up and the 47-year-old is now (maybe not anymore) hanging out at Thomas Jefferson University hospital.

Is he, like, going to pitch?  His contract says yes, but his groin won’t stop screaming “AAAAAAA GOD NO.”

Wise also believes that baseballs are alive, and trying to eat him.

On the other end of the spectrum, DeWayne Wise will be joining the Phils in Clearwater come spring.  His stats this year were so underwhelming you might already be yawning (.225, 2 HR, 11 RBI), but that’s why he’s only getting a minor league contract.

He was also a big part of Mark Buerhle’s perfect game, making a mind-bending catch against the wall to keep the feat intact.

Good news for that perfect game Cliff Lee’s got brewing in him.

Wilson Valdez, a backup Mets infielder (Who, by the way, are having their own little offseason signing escapades), has also been offered a minor league deal.  He did not see a lot of playing time in ’09, but these are both guys that are fairly capable with their defense.

And on this, the most hallowed of thanks-related holidays, let’s close with a bit of heartwarming “Aw, that’s nice”-ness.

Lawrence Nowlan is a sculptor and a diehard Phillies fan.  In a combination of those two things, Nowlan has put in motion a plan to sculpt a 7-foot, bronze Harry Kalas; a monument to the man who narrated the grass stain and firefly-choked summers of many people’s youth.

What started as a Facebook petition (one of those few petitions you’d have to be a real asshole not to sign) is now becoming a reality, as Nowlan  and the 20,000 signatures on the petition are a driving force behind immortalizing Harry even further by the start of the 2011 season.

If there’s enough money, they’re even going to throw Whitey up there.

A more than fitting tribute for 38 years of the greatest play-by-play calling in sports.

All right, I’m getting misty.  Stop ignoring your family, get out of the blogosphere and go give some thanks.