That Balls Outta Here » dennys reyes

J.C. Romero Wants to be the Next Cliff Lee; Won’t

Justin Klugh — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 16:26:14 +0000

I don’t know how many emotional homecomings we can budget in this offseason, but J.C. would love at least one more. Of course, anything that happens in the wake of a Cliff Lee signing is kind of going to be forgotten, ignored, or shrugged off. Like leaving one of your kids at the mall. Meh; world’s got enough kids anyway (I like how I assume that leaving a child at the mall automatically means it is dead). (more…)

A Slow Descent Into Deafening Silence

Justin Klugh — Sun, 12 Dec 2010 12:59:26 +0000

We’ve had a lot of laughs here the past few days. At least, I have; self-guffawing at my subtle brand of “making shit up,” while spewing Triscuit fragments deep, deep into the unreachable chasms of my keyboard.

But the skeleton under these thick, fleshy slabs of humor should be addressed as well. Our competitors are knocking the acquisition side of baseball “out of the park,” as they say at meetings of the Association for the Usage of Sports Cliches.

Name after name, role after role, we are witnessing the growing arsenals of our enemies. We turn to Ruben, as is often the case during the winter, to explain the plan of how we intend to keep up. This season marks a departure from the hysterical laughter of big name trades and steals, and has instead offered little more than a morose breed of shallow fantasies.

What? Why yes, I am slowly and methodically loading a pistol as I type this. (more…)

Ruben Sneaks Out of Orlando with Dennys Reyes Under His Arm

Justin Klugh — Thu, 09 Dec 2010 18:39:52 +0000

Most of the big names are off the market–Gonzalez, Crawford, Werth, uh, Dennys Reyes–so you’re probably wondering just who in the heck Ruben plans on signing out of no where this off season. The window for him to do something insane is quickly closing; the least he could do is give us an ambiguous, shadowy statement that clears nothing up.

”We’ve run under the mantra of, ‘If you’re not trying, you’re not trying.’ “

Thank you. Jeez.

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