That Balls Outta Here » cortisone

Charlie Manuel Waits for Placido Polanco to Leave; Calls Other Third Baseman

Justin Klugh — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 20:13:00 +0000

“MORE CORTISONE,” the Phillies trainers shouted, shattering the glass casing that read “Break in case of anything,” and dragging the firehose-esque device out.

Placido Polanco wanted to avoid such treatment, but by the end of the season, it was the only thing keeping him alive. Rumors say. Rumors started on this website. Today.

But he did have a sports hernia, which he played through, but unfortunately is like a dump truck trying to drive at full speed with a mailbox stuck in the front tire. Its not an issue all the time, but when you’re going pretty hard, it comes up more often.

We’re all driving around in dump trucks, right? That’s an apt, relate-able metaphor? Great. (more…)

Ryan Howard Receiving Shot to Make Him Even More Powerful

Justin Klugh — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 17:30:36 +0000

“Even more powerful” in this case meaning “back to normal levels of power.”

They say the Achilles is the Achilles of the human body. There’s a reason you shouldn’t be shot in it with an arrow. Yes; that lesson can be applied to most body parts, but no others have been so historically documented as the Achilles. (more…)

Chase Utley and Domonic Brown Soon to be Surgery Buddies

Justin Klugh — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 17:03:25 +0000

Does it even count as “baseball” if Chase Utley isn’t playing it? No. The answer is it does not. Fortunately, Chase gave cortisone a self esteem boost by allowing it to inject itself into his knee, therefore proving that while the Phillies may be aging faster than ever, medical science allows to delay/deny the process as furiously as we can.

"Sure, we can replace anything on you with robot parts. 'Medical ethics' is just a buzz term we use around people who hate awesome things."

(more…)