That Balls Outta Here » college

Phillies Plan to Use Draft Picks on Players Who Are Good

Justin Klugh — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 20:31:24 +0000

Go ahead, don’t be over Jayson Werth. Stand in the right field section of Nationals Park wagging a sign with some kind of “Werth/worth” pun and piss of the D.C. sportswriters with soundless aggression. Nod your head as you feign interest in your wife’s daily exploits over dinner as you picture our former right fielder knocking on your front doorstep, hat in hand, wondering if its too late to accept arbitration. Convince your therapist you’re making progress but then tear his office apart when you notice he’s decided to start growing a beard.

Because as the upcoming draft dictates, Jayson Werth is still infecting everything we do. (more…)

BlueClaws to Battle Hawks in Baseball, Not Crime Against Nature

Justin Klugh — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 22:12:44 +0000

By now, it should be clear that the Phillies have no problem turning their farm system against itself. They also have no qualms with threatening local college students during Spring Training. So when are they going to combine the two into a single act of baseball-ggression, changing the tune of novelty exhibition games into a twisted, nine inning drum solo, deep in the heart of New Jersey?

Now. (more…)

Phillies Caravan to Roll into Place I Once Saw While Mostly Asleep

Justin Klugh — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 18:54:51 +0000

I went about college visits like a sloth with both legs broken. I dragged myself out of bed for early morning drives to godforsaken parts of the state, watching tiny bits of urban life disintegrate into thick wilds of wilderness; or confident townies walking the streets, eager to explain to groups of potential freshmen why Millersville was just the place to pop that collegiate cherry–maybe even have some of that promiscuous sex you’ve heard so much about.

DeSales was one of the first campuses I stumbled onto; dazed, cold and wearing a wrinkled pair of khakis that my mom assured me would make a better impression than the jeans I was wearing when I fell asleep in the recliner holding a vibrating Xbox controller. (more…)