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Phillies Suck, Lose by Nine Runs
It was like Opening Day, but with half the Phillies runs, and also injuries. I have trouble adopting a voice for some of these recaps. Like, am I explaining what happened to people who watched it? Or…Read More
Your Guide to Phillies-Reds Ninth Inning Reboot Madness
Weirdly enough, the Phillies couldn’t score any runs last night, making baseball look like some kind of dull, uninteresting game. Fortunately, the Reds were just as pointless, scoring zero runs…Read More
Phillies Gameday: Let’s Bail
“That’s baseball,” Cliff Lee said of last night’s stupid loss to the stupid Reds. “That happens.” It doesn’t get any easier, regardless of how much it happens.…Read More
Series Six-Pack: “Mark Prior is still a ‘pipe dream’”
The Phillies move on to Cincinnati, the ‘Miami of Ohio’ as it is called by the impossibly mundane who have never been to Miami. There won’t even be one of those off days in between for…Read More
Reds vs. Phillies: Game II the squeakquel
Cliff Lee (2-7, 3.83 ERA) Cliff Lee’s struggles this year are well documented. The stat that stands out the most is his minuscule win total of 2. If there’s one area Lee is sure to dominate…Read More
And more..
Reds vs. Phillies: The Colors of Blood
Roy Halladay (6-7, 3.80 ERA) The surface level stats for Doc and challenger Leake are sadly comparable,…Read More
Bronson is a Stupid First Name
There was some concern that the hiccup in the Phillies schedule would throw the team off of its collective…Read More
I Think That the Phillies Played a Baseball Game Tonight
Cole Hamels hasn’t pitched in a while and the Phillies have received an extended unexpected break…Read More
Phils Only Need Nine Innings to Finish Reds 10-4
Homer is a terrible nickname for a pitcher. His God given name is David Dewitt Bailey. I suppose…Read More
Danys Baez, David Herndon and Wilson Valdez Star in 19 Inning Win
Huh?! What the hell just happened.? I think what happened was that I stayed up until 2:00 A.M. ON…Read More
Reds Snap Eight Game Losing Streak With Three Run Ninth
This game recap is going to utilize the ancient Janpanese art of haiku. Utley plays again Offense scores…Read More
Phils Drub Reds 10-3 in Utley’s Return
Hey. Am I hallucinating, or did the Phillies just score ten runs? I am also pretty sure that Chase…Read More
Quite a Catch(er): Dane Sardinha
As we gaze miserably into the face of mid-winter carnage, all we can do is take refuge in our minds,…Read More
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