Not Charlie Manuel.

For those unfamiliar, Chris Wheeler sits in the Phillies broadcast booth, licking a giant lolly.  When Tom McCarthy stops screaming about a bank or an insurance company or a ballpark giveaway, it’s Wheels’ job to mention something about the game before McCarthy segways seamlessly into the next topic, which is usually like Gary Matthews’ hat or something.

“Charlie Manuel has no hand in the struggles of this season.  And I totally disagree with anyone who believes that’s the case or promotes his dismissal.”

–Chris Wheeler

Well, if Charlie had “no hand in the team’s struggles,” he wouldn’t be a very good manager.  That would mean he had been reluctant to get in any way involved in team activities unless they were playing well.  Which is what people expect from us a-hole fans, but not the manager of the team.

I think Charlie would say–and probably has said–that he is at least partially to blame for the last place-iness of the defending champions.  He is their… leader… unless I’m misunderstanding what the role of the manager is.

I'm Mr. Manager!

Granted, it would be entirely asinine to give all the blame to Charlie, but that’s what the simpleton minds want to do–find a single source of blame.  Which is hard, because it’s a baseball team.  The Phillies have all not come through equally.  Chase and Ryan got hurt and aren’t immediately unstoppable, Charlie’s bullpen management, the bullpen itself, Doc’s injury, nobody hitting for Cliff, nobody hitting at all, Joe Blanton bleeding home runs, Kyle Kendrick, CHAD QUALLS, Freddy Galvis’ suspension, Hunter Pence driving the ball into the ground, John Mayberry’s hideous regression, Ruben’s egregious pawning of top prospects.

It’s a big old mess.

And Charlie can take some of the blame, much as he would gladly take some of the credit–and did–when this team was cruising.

So let’s not work only with extremes here.  There’s no reason to blame one guy, unless The Bullpen was just one guy.  The we could go to his house and throw tomatoes at it.  Although I guess it would be protected by some sort of security gate.  Well, we could just roll the tomatoes under the gate.  It’d be disappointing, and far from effective, but that’s what we’ve come to expect from you, The Bullpen!

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Got ‘im.

Can’t wait to hear who Tom McCarthy thinks isn’t at fault for all this.

Chris Wheeler (as told to Hal Gullan)

I’ve heard Chris Wheeler speak every summer of my life.  He’s not Harry, he’s not Whitey; he’s Wheels, the guy you can tell has a goofy grin on his face just by the sound of his voice.  I assume a book written by him would be an extension of the same demeanor.

I can picture him bent over a thick notebook (I for some reason doubt he owns a computer) with a quill pen, chuckling over the anecdote with which he’s currently filling a page.  Except someone else wrote it, while he talked in their ear.  Which is what I should have guessed, probably.

But he’s part of the Phillies tradition, so his quirks are signature of the team we all love, even if some are meandering stories and wrong answers to trivia questions.

Oh god.  Tim McCarver wrote the forward?  I’m not reading this.

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