I have a few observations from today’s Phillies/Marlins baseball contest.  First, Greg Dobbs no longer has side burns.  Second, Hanley Ramirez really does not give a shit.  Can you imagine if someone in this town was that talented and flushed it down the toilet by being an insufferable, indolent malcontent?  Third, this Marlins team looks like it is going to kill Jack McKeon.  The Phillies won the game 14-2. (more…)

Buried under this debut was the first ever major league game for the Marlins’ Mike Stanton, who the Fish saw enter the game with high hopes for his bat to do… every single thing that they seem to be lacking.  Fredi Gonzalez, like an overbearing father warming up his 6′ 11″ fifth grade son just before a Little League game, offered his expectations.

“Nothing crazy like win the game or anything. Just go ahead, maybe hit three home runs and pitch the seventh for us.”

"Of course I'm kidding! Ha! Ha ha! Hey, does anybody else hear that clown's voice, telling them to kill?"

Stanton went 3-for-5 against the Phillies last night, then made the rookie mistake of hoping his spitfire offense (two infield singles) could be shouldered by the Marlins bullpen and carry them to the W.  The bullpen, in turn, buckled under a slight breeze, as Taylor Tankersley couldn’t get the last out in the 8th before the tying and go-ahead runs were scored.

At about the same time, 138 miles down I-95, Stephen Strasburg had calmly murdered his 14th Pirate.

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