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Chase Utley NOT Advising Dontrelle on Public Relations
Dontrelle Willis pitched like horse-bleep on Wednesday. That’s not my terminology for it, he said it himself. The D-Train, trying to win a spot as the team’s LOOGY (left-handed specialist)…Read More
Phillies Swear Not Playing Players is all Part of Plan
It’s hard to shut people up about us being the oldest, slowest, most decrepit team in baseball when a lot of our players are suffering from serious-to-regular-to-precautionary injuries. You know…Read More
Phillies Best Case/Worst Case: Infield
In life, one must be prepared for all contingencies. The Boy Scouts of America do a wonderful job in this respect, teaching their young participants to “Always Be Prepared.” That is solid…Read More
The Mystery of Chase Utley
There are many interesting storylines for the Phillies heading into the 2012 season. What will the fallout be over Howard’s Achilles injury? Can he come back and hit for power? When will he come…Read More
Ruben Amaro Doubts Strength of Chase Utley; Gets Intense Headache
I don’t like to talk poorly about Chase Utley, partially because I’m an insufferable homer, and partially because I feel like he can hear me and he’s so darn mean I worry he’ll…Read More
And more..
Chase Utley Receives Head Trauma; Haunted by Visions of Creepy Girl
Chase Utley was in the middle of one of those at bats we like to see him have last night when Eric O’Flaherty…Read More
Phillies Release ‘It Gets Better’ Video to Maintain Tradition of <3<3<3
How could the Phillies 2011 season get better? Maybe is Roy Oswalt was consistently sharp and Ryan…Read More
Phillies Stage Comeback, Broxton Surprisingly Not Involved
Vance Worley got knocked around a little bit today. After the first inning, the Vanimal surrendered…Read More
Halladay Goes 0-3 With Two Strikeouts and Six Left on Base
Roy Halladay did not have a real good day at the plate today. Luckily he threw seven innings of one…Read More
Raise Your Hand if You Thought That Vance Worley Would Throw a Complete Game This Season
Looking at the scheduled starting pitchers for today’s baseball game in Philadelphia, the Giants…Read More
I Guess This is Why Charlie Calls it “Hittin’ Season”
It is really hot outside. It is so hot that any sort of hyperbole used to make a mockery of the weather…Read More
Michael Martinez Gets a Game Winning Hit, Hell Begins to Freeze Over
The ace pitchers have been struggling as of late. Cole Hamels got the shit kicked out of him by the…Read More
Halladay Wins, Rauch Terrifying in Defeat
Holy God is Jon Rauch scary. When I was in school, tall guys were normally skinny and frail. When…Read More
How to Handle an Off-Day Assuming Your Life is Terrible
I was recently trying to get a friend of mine who is not a baseball fan to come with me and watch a…Read More
Matt Garza is Stupid
In the first game of this series, the Cubs came back on the Phils with a game tying homer in the top…Read More
Reds Snap Eight Game Losing Streak With Three Run Ninth
This game recap is going to utilize the ancient Janpanese art of haiku. Utley plays again Offense scores…Read More
Phils Drub Reds 10-3 in Utley’s Return
Hey. Am I hallucinating, or did the Phillies just score ten runs? I am also pretty sure that Chase…Read More
Bright House Field Continues to Exist Without Chase Utley
Speaking of Chase–I assume you were speaking of him. Were you not? Okay, well, pour some coffee…Read More
Series 6-Pack: Red in the Face
We may be facing the Reds at the best possible time; fresh off consecutive sweeps by the Pirates and…Read More
Chase Utley to Raise Fan Hopes to Ridiculous, Unattainable Level
So, what, Chase? You think you can just walk back into our lives after being away for so long? You can!…Read More
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