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Stop, In The Name of Cole: Hamels Halts Haplessness in 7-2 Win
What does a team missing its two best offensive players need? A series with another team missing its two guys that know how to hit a baseball. Enter the Colorado Rockies, who suck considerably worse…Read More
Carlos Ruiz Being Defeated in All-Star Vote by Cowards Terrified of Change
There comes a time in every 33-year-old catcher’s life when he must consider how his chosen career is affecting his health. Are his knees ruined? Does he scream in pain every time he gets out of…Read More
Apparently God Hates Cliff Lee: Phillies Win in Extras 5-3
St. Louis calls themselves “baseball heaven.” I was first made aware of this designation when Larry Bowa berated Scott Rolen out of town and Scott let us all know that his escape from the…Read More
Chooch is Okay, Please Stop Calling, Request Phillies
If you’re like me, you sit up in bed a lot, heart racing and cold-sweating. Tonight, there will actually be a reason, beyond snake-ridden night terrors. Chooch was in the middle of what has become…Read More
Carlos Ruiz Really Upsets Major League Umpire by Speaking to, Looking at Him
The name ‘Cederstrom’ can be placed quite honorably on the monikers of great men throughout history, most of them Swedish. There was Gustaf Cederstrom, the artist behind The funeral transport…Read More
And more..
Carlos Ruiz Leaves us Alone with Brian Schneider
Brian Schneider is a catcher who can catch the ball. His at-bats end with collective sighs of disgust.…Read More
Pirate Fans Will Have Nightmares About Roy Halladay
The nightstand can no longer hold the empty cans of Iron City beer and there is no way to jam enough…Read More
Phillies Health Insurance Policy: Part I
The aging of the Phillies has been a favorite topic of discussion this off-season. It’s no secret…Read More
Six Phillies Qualify to Not be Forgotten Forever
Part of being a Phillie is creating your own lore. Sometimes it’s a fairly visible one, like…Read More
Chooch Makes More of Himself for the World to Enjoy
I may not respect babies, but I respect the people brave enough to pledge themselves to one until its…Read More
Carlos Ruiz Joins Hypothetical Team of Often Forgotten Names
There’s a reason it sounds like everybody hates Carlos Ruiz. His name and nickname have the “-ue”…Read More
Phillies Think It’s Probably About Time You Learned How to Cook
Sure, this time of year is responsible for the majority of your dark thoughts. Seeing George Bailey…Read More
Carlos Ruiz is Your 17th Runner-up for NL MVP
16 places ahead of Chooch was Cincinnati Red and Etobicokean Joey Votto, who apparently did some things…Read More
Late for Work Link Dump
True Phillies fandom refuses to allow itself to be rained upon, except if it is actual rain, in which…Read More
Phils Win in Walkoff Thanks to Child Witch Doctor
Heroes aren’t everywhere. If they were, the crack alley leading up to my apartment would be crime…Read More
Mike Sweeney Starts, Finishes Hilarious Mets Slaughter
Everybody comes to Philly and has their eyes open. Guys have been snatched in early August for the…Read More
Phillies Win Despite Doomsday Scenario
Maybe its not the prettiest picture in the world; maybe when Charlie said at the beginning of the season…Read More
Mustachioed Man Takes Down Future Hall-of-Famer
Five innings of baseball had been played, and Wilson Valdez was plenty pissed. Father’s Day. A…Read More
Roy Halladay Throws 53rd Career Complete Game as Flyers Win 3-0
May 18, 2010. Citizens Bank Park. The pitcher’s mound. 9:07 pm. Charlie Manuel trotted out…Read More
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