Roy Oswalt to Media: “I’m not dead.”

Justin Klugh — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 13:00:24 +0000

You want to just proceed with caution here because Roy probably knows how his back and arm feel better than anyone, but still. I looked at him for seven innings of a baseball game from the 400 level and I’ve got to say that he looked all right, if pretty small and kind of wet and unwilling to answer any interview questions shouted at him from several hundred feet above.

Me: ”HOW HAS YOUR RECOVERY BEEN GOING.”

Roy: **Gives up single to Michael Morse**

Me: ”INTERESTING. AND CAN YOU EXPAND ON THAT.”

Roy: **Throws over to first base** (more…)

Local Headline Uses Pun, Terror to Grab Readers

Justin Klugh — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 12:10:17 +0000

We all saw it. Well, except for me, the guy who just wrote the words “We all saw it.”

I was flipping between the Phillies game and the Orioles game between pitches, because of my inability to focus on a thing for a second and my natural inclination to push buttons that make machines do things. I think it was during a particularly humiliating Mark Reynolds swinging strikeout, one of those ones where you’re like, “Geeze, I hope his spine’s okay…” when I noticed Twitter was exploding with “Oh no” and “Oh Cole…”

Assuming he had just given up a three-run home run or sacrificed all of his surmassed maturity people are talking about by sprinting into the outfield to high-pitch scream in Raul Ibanez’s face for not diving to trap a sinking liner, I searched desperately for the remote. It escaped me. Things are always doing that. Remotes. Forks. Dogs. People’s respect. (more…)

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Roy Oswalt to Media: “I’m not dead.”

Local Headline Uses Pun, Terror to Grab Readers