New York Mets

In some worlds, a baseball team can face plant off to a 5-13 start, watch helplessly as their ace pitcher tacks more and more days to his injury leave, and be sued for a billion dollars and people will still demand to watch.  Sadly for the Mets, we do not live in one of those worlds.

For some reason, and its probably the sucking, Mets’ attendance is down this season by 7.8%.  This information is brought to you by the provocatively titled report, “Does Major League Baseball Have an Attendance Problem?” by Darren Rovell of CNBC.

Of course, if you took these numbers to Mets management (Or mismanagement!  Right!  I AM A JOKE MACHINE TODAY!) and tried to bring the “attendance problem” to their attention, they would probably just wordlessly hand you their own report entitled “We Have So Many Bigger Problems Right Now,” and point to a series of graphs with arrows plummeting downward.

"We also have graphs for Mr. Met Plush Toy Sales and Terry Collins' Family's Respect for Him. But they all look exactly the same."

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