**huffs rag soaked in turpentine**

It’s been a turbulent offseason for these kids.  First, they had to go to Arizona. Then, they had to team up with a crew of ragtag prospects from the Padres, Reds, Mariners, and Twins.  Would they put their differences aside, come together and eventually win it all?  I just told you, yes.  But now these young Phils of the future return home, uncertain of what even an ostrich is doing here and why it wants so badly to fight them.

But an AFL trophy is just what they need to overcome such trauma.  First, the numbers.

• Tommy Joseph:  49 AB, 10 H, 1 2B, 5 RBI, 6 BB, 8 SO, .204/.224/.515
• Cody Asche:  89 AB, 25 H, 11 2B, 1 HR, 12 RBI, .281/.438/.782
• Zach Collier:  62 AB, 23 H, 4 2B, 3 3B, 10 RBI, 12 BB, .371/.461/.532
• Tyler Knigge:  12.0 IP, 7.50 ERA, 13 H, 10 ER, 5 BB, 10 K
• Jay Johnson:  8.0 IP, 10.13 ERA, 13 H, 9ER, 9 BB, 14 K
• Kyle Simon:  12.0 IP, 9.00 ERA, 21 H, 12 ER, 3 BB, 8 K

Collier is clearly the MVP of the group, going on an offensive tear and also walking a lot–they all wound up walking a lot.  Whether that’s a sign fo completely gasses young AFL pitchers or an increased awareness at the plate, we’ll never know.  I mean we, here at this site will never know.  Beat writers and the like; they probably know already.

The championship game was not a glorious arena for our heroes’ triumph, however.  Joseph didn’t get go play, and only Jay Johnson saw action out of the pen, allowing a hit but then punching out the only batter he needed to get.  Asche got the start at third, as he did most of the season, and Collier played left and then center field in the eighth.  Collier grounded out three teams, but did have a successful sac bunt, while Asche went 0-for-2 with two of those walks I was just mentioning.

The real heroes, however, came from other squads.  The Mariners’ young catcher Mike Zunino went 3-for-5 with 2 RBI, knocking in the Reds’ Billy Hamilton at one point in the first inning after he led off the game with a triple.  The Padres’ outfielder Rymer Liriano was 3-for-3, and Nate Roberts went 3-for-4 with an astounding mustache.

The Salt River Rafters did their best to overcome various small deficits, and all the scoring was done in the first three innings, leading to an intense start that ended in six long, monotonous innings.  But the 4-3 victory for Peoria came to a mighty close when the Padres’ Kevin Quackenbush set the last SR batter down on strikes.  Then everything came to a mighty pause when the first ever AFL protest was staged on a call in the seventh regarding whether or not Nationals prospect Brian Goodwin left third base too early on a sac fly (he did).  Then everything came to a mighty close, again, and the Javelinas flooded the field, celebrating wildly, like a herd of actual javelinas after a delicious kill.

So now, it’s back to boring old regular fall, when there is no baseball played, hockey is on strike, the Eagles are cannibalizing each other, and Andrew Bynum’s knee tries to escape from his body.  It’s a cold world once you leave Arizona.  But that’s not fair.  They say it’s a real dry heat.

As the Javelinas prepare to face off against the Phoenix Desert Dogs today–the same Dogs they victimized all week long–they sit in first place with a 17-11 record.  This has a lot to do with their unfriendly offense, which in their last five games has scored 59 runs.  It’s the AFL, and everybody’s tired, but those are numbers that will notch you wins.  In a 5-2 stretch, they scored eight runs in each of the games that they lost.  I mean, what, is Cliff Lee pitching these games?

Ha ha ha.  No, he isn’t.  And I’m sorry for the insulting nature of my candor.  Let’s go!

As of 11/12:

Tommy Joseph:  45 AB, .178 BA, .425 OPS, 8 SO, 4 RBI

Cody Asche:  75 AB, .280 BA, .806 OPS, 21 H, 10 2B, 1 HR, 11 RBI

Zach Collier:  56 AB, .339 BA, .959 OPS, 19 H, 4 2B, 3 3B, 8 RBI

Kyle Simon:  12.0 IP, 9.00 ERA, 21 H, 12 ER, 8 K, 3 BB

Jay Johnson:  7.1 IP, 9.82 ERA, 8 ER, 13 K, 9 BB

Tyler Knigge:   10.o IP, 9.00 ERA, 13 H, 10 ER, 9 K, 5 BB

Colby Shreve:  10.0 IP, 4.50 ERA, 8 H, 5 ER, 6 K, 5 BB

Monday saw the first, that I’ve seen, instance of our three hitting prospects forming a consecutive 6-7-8, 3B-CF-C barrage in the lineup, and better yet, they all delivered!  Cody Asche led the charge with three hits, two doubles, two runs scored, and two RBI.  All Tommy Joseph and Zach Collier could do is try and garnish such a delectable performance, and managed to by each singling and RBI-ing, and Collier scoring again on a walk.  In total, the Phillies prospects were responsible for seven of the Javelinas’ 10 runs in a 10-7 victory over the Salt River Rafters.

The pitching was far less mentionable.  Tyler Knigge came in and registered a strikeout, a walk, and a three run blast to Salt River catcher Sean Ochinko, before being relieved by Jay Johnson, who proceeded to walk every single person on the earth (well, three).

Zach Collier got the only start (in left) on Tuesday, going 2-for-4 with a double and a run against Christian Yelich and the Phoenix Desert Dogs.  Once again, the Javelinas scored double digits in a 13-7 victory that featured zero other Phillies prospects so obviously isn’t really worth talking about.

Not yet satisfied by their bombastic offensive displays, Peoria continued their attack on Phoenix on Wednesday, laying an 8-0 humiliation on the Desert Dogs.  Cody Asche was 1-for-4 with an RBI (though he was the throw-um-out in a strike-um-out/throw-um-out DP in the first) and Jay Johnson put a merciful end on things by allowing a single hit in a scoreless ninth, bringing that pesky ERA down to 9.82.

Thursday saw another trifold appearance by the Phillies hitting trio, though they did go a combined 0-for-9.  But wait, don’t hurl your $35.99 Javelinas hat to the ground in disgust just yet!  They also combined for a total of seven walks.  The Javelinas as a team walked as many times as they had hits (11), which goes a long way in explaining the once again lopsided 12-4 victory over the Scottsdale Scorpions.  On the mound, Tyler Knigge threw up zeroes in an inning of relief, allowing a hit but nullifying it with an ice cold K.

Down 11-4 in the eighth inning on Friday, Peoria appeared to be suffering their first loss of the week.  A thunderous 4-run rally seemed to be a surprise comeback in the making, but to no avail, and the team was forced to walk away with an 11-8 loss to the Surprise Saguaros.  Asche went 1-for-4 with a double, two runs scored, and another walk, while Collier, starting in center, went a pulse-pounding 3-for-3 with two singles and a double… and a walk.

Saturday was another 11-8 loss, this time to the Mesa Solar Sox, and probably because Asche and Collier were kept out of the lineup, though Asche was dealing with some personal issues.

Very confused.. Clouds and raindrops here in AZ.. Also saw a double rainbow today.

— Cody Asche (@cody_smasche) November 9, 2012

Tommy Joseph got a shot, though, and went 2-for-5 with an RBI, bumping that batting average up to the .178 it sits at today.  Once more, no Phillies pitchers were permitted to touch the ball, out of probably exhaustion and the fact that they seem to give up many, many runs and walks when they do.

Joseph gets self into legacy of Billy Hamilton

Another AFL has come to a middle, and what better way to celebrate than to pit its best players against each other?  Ha, ha, ha.  DANCE PUPPETS DAAAAAAANCE.

But enough with all that crap.  What you want to know is, which Phillies prospects made it onto the roster?  Pitchers fly in and out of these games as quickly as hitters, so by necessity alone they would need to include as many as possible.  Sadly, no Phillies pitching prospects made the cut; which is less surprising when using “statistics” to determine players’ value.

While still a collection of talented slingers, Colby Shreve led the crew with a 4.50 ERA, in a group where it has gotten as high as 12.00 (Tyler Knigge).  Shreve is also tied for the team lead in holds and appeared in the most games.  Kyle Simon is on pace to take home the Most Earned Runs Allowed award, which is a tiny trophy often presented to its owner without a ceremony in the creepy alley behind the clubhouse.

No, the only names on the AFL Rising Stars East squad from the Phillies franchise were offensive, and they were two thirds of the eligible prospects we sent in that category–third baseman Cody Asche and catcher Tommy Joseph (he of the .425 OPS and team-leading three errors, so…?)

Unfortunately, both had to work very hard to get mentioned in this recap of the game, which featured far more Billy Hamilton than anybody could stand, but that’s only because Hamilton is a promising young prospect who rarely screws up and is fun to watch and says cool things.

Joseph squeezed himself into a Billy Hamilton story, however, as he singled in the top of the fifth, and then was immediately replaced by Braves SS prospect Nick Ahmed, who scored after Billy drag bunted a beaut to Jonathan Singleton, who was so impressed that he hurled the ball into right field.  Asche went 0-for-2 with a strikeout.

Old pal Jarred Cosart was out there on the mound again to start for the AFL Rising Stars East, going two innings with a hit, two earned runs, and two walks.  Package deal bedfellow Jonathan Singleton went 1-for-2 with a walk and that aforementioned throw into the outfield.

It was a stifling performance by the opposing Eastern Stars, and our boys went down by a 9-4 score, courtesy of the Athletics’ Michael Tonkin’s fifth inning meltdown to end all fifth inning meltdowns, in which he coughed up three hits and five runs, four of them earned.

The AFL surges forward now, memories of a lopsided Rising Stars game getting further and further away.  On November 17, the Championship Game will be played in Scottsdale, and we can only assume the powerful might lurking in our prospects has surfaced by then.

**pokes prospects**

Come oooooonnn.

Surfaaaacccce.